logo
episode-header-image
Jun 20
23m 1s

451 SelfWork: Why and How to Stop Using ...

MARGARET ROBINSON RUTHERFORD PHD
About this episode

Therapy-misspeak – overusing the terms used by psychologists and doctors and therapists – has blown up in recent years. Words that are used in the mental health world to diagnose or describe certain mental illnesses or traits of mental illnesses have become part of everyday language. But not in a good or accurate way.

The trend seems to be leading… not to better mental health – but to a dilution of the actual pain or hardship that is mental illness as well as to hinder you learning how to talk more plainly about your emotions or experiences.

Things to remember about therapy-misspeak: 

  1. Not all jerks are narcissists.
  2. No one has one day where you have bipolar disorder or OCD.
  3. A reaction isn’t a trigger.
  4. Getting hurt isn’t necessarily trauma. It’s important but it’s not necessarily traumatic.
  5. Imposter syndrome isn’t the same as feeling initially overwhelmed by something you’re trying to do or become.
  6. Self-care isn’t as powerful as self-respect.
  7. Borderline isn’t you feeling out of control.
  8. Panic is more than feeling anxious.
  9. And toxic? Poisons are toxic. And maybe something is poisoning you. But you’ll grow a lot more if you describe what feels poisonous to you.

Today’s listener question isn’t a question. I was very touched by the words this listener wanted me to hear – and told her so.

Vital Links: 

HuffPost piece: “Dealing with a narcissist” - all jerks aren't narcissists.

Early SelfWork Episode on narcissism

Research article on therapy-misspeak

The Instagram account of Raquel the capacity expert

Advertisers Links:

Click HERE for the NEW GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!

Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!


 



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Up next
Jul 4
453 SelfWork: A Shrink Talks About Shrinking
I'm a shrink. And today, I want to talk about the hit show Shrinking.Most of the time, I hear the term "shrink" used in a funny, almost endearing way. It’s like when people call me “Doc” instead of my name. It’s a term that binds us but also keeps boundaries clear.I’d like to giv ... Show More
21m 11s
Jun 27
Parenting: Letting Go of Your Grown Kids
Parenting is hard. It may be the most ambiguous job you’ll ever have. Not only do you have to wait literally years to see what the “finished product” truly is – you have to get through adolescence and social media influence and screen time and drug use and hurt from relationships ... Show More
21m 11s
Jun 13
450 SelfWork: Climbing the Walls: Talking ADHD In Women with Danielle Elliot
ADHD in women is finally being diagnosed for what it is and has been!Understood.org, a leading resource for people with learning and thinking differences, has launched a new podcast series, Climbing the Walls, a new limited-series investigative podcast. Hosted by health and scien ... Show More
43m 43s
Recommended Episodes
Jul 3
Mental Fitness: Daily Hacks That Strengthen Your Mind
We all know about physical fitness, but what if we treated mental fitness with the same urgency and structure? In this episode, psychiatrist and author Dr. Drew Ramsey joins Gabe Howard to reveal how everyday choices like eating more vegetables or going on a daily walk can profou ... Show More
26m 48s
Jan 2024
71 — Is Someone You Know Struggling with Negative Thoughts? Here is What to Say to Them.
What do you say to a loved one who predicts the worst-case scenario? Or how do you help someone who is convinced everything is going to go wrong? Your response could either add fuel to the fire or help them extinguish their anxious thoughts.It's tough to know how to help someone ... Show More
18m 16s
May 26
Micro Habits that Fuel Depression
Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience. Take small, powerful step ... Show More
12m 20s
Jan 2025
Bipolar Relapse: Personal Journey of Warning Signs, Support, and Recovery
What happens when someone with bipolar disorder relapses after years of stability? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Nicole Washington interviews Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, about his recent mood episode and relapse. Together, they uncover the subtle warning ... Show More
39m 43s
Mar 2025
The Secrets to Being a Successful Adult & Building Your Own Mental Fitness
You know that feeling you get when you eat comfort food? There is something magical about it. This episode begins by exploring why some foods become comfort food while other food does not and what causes us to feel so fondly about certain foods but not others. https://www.buffalo ... Show More
49m 13s
Jan 2021
Fight Depression And Burnout in 2 Minutes a Day - 3 Good Things Activity
You can fight depression and burnout in just a few minutes a day. Your brain is so much better at focusing on survival than it is at focusing on being happy, and it's because of this fact that your brain is constantly scanning for threats, trying to pick out or notice anything ba ... Show More
5m 35s
May 2024
Body Talk
This week, Christina and Jamie open up about their battles with eating disorders and self-esteem. They reflect on the moments that changed their lives, and discuss body dysmorphia, societal conditioning, how they each got to a healthier place, and more.*Trigger warning: discussio ... Show More
55m 57s
Jul 2024
Unmasking Fakes: Is Mental Health the New Excuse? (From Listener Questions)
Dive into a candid discussion on mental health as host Gabe Howard speaks with Rachael Beairsto, a senior editor for Healthline. Together, they tackle tough questions about authenticity and stigma provided by listeners like you. Explore how misconceptions and pop culture blur the ... Show More
25m 32s
Jul 2024
Louise Hazel: Fitness Misconceptions - What it Means to Get Into the Best Shape of Your Life
Strong is the new beautiful, but how can women truly embrace their power? Today, I welcome Louise Hazel, a heptathlete and fitness professional. She gained recognition for her athletic achievements, including competing in the heptathlon, which consists of seven track and field ev ... Show More
1h 28m
Feb 2024
A Mental Health Crisis on College Campuses
The numbers are daunting. 60% of college students meet the criteria for a mental health disorder. 44% report depression symptoms, 37% for anxiety, and 15% in a recent survey were considering suicide. Dr. Jessi Gold, Chief Wellness Officer for the University of Tennessee System, s ... Show More
37m 37s