In this deeply insightful and emotional coaching session, Christine Hassler works with Kate, a courageous woman who has spent much of her life relying solely on herself. While Kate has achieved personal and professional success, she finds herself feeling stuck when it comes to romantic intimacy. Her high-functioning independence has become a barrier to receiving love—and allowing herself to be truly supported by others.
Together, Christine and Kate explore the roots of hyper-independence, including childhood dynamics, family roles, and the need to feel “in control” in order to feel safe. Christine gently unpacks the difference between strength that empowers connection and armor that blocks it. As they navigate Kate’s fears of vulnerability and trust, the conversation opens the door to softness, receptivity, and true emotional intimacy.
This episode is a powerful listen for anyone who identifies as the “strong one,” has trouble receiving help or affection, or longs for deep partnership but doesn’t know how to shift lifelong patterns of self-protection.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you often feel like you have to handle everything on your own?
- Is it difficult for you to ask for or receive help?
- Are you drawn to relationships where you feel emotionally safer staying guarded?
- Do you believe that letting your guard down means losing control—or being weak?
Key Insights and A-HAs:
- Hyper-independence is often a trauma response rooted in childhood survival strategies.
- Being strong doesn’t mean being closed; real strength includes openness and the willingness to receive.
- Letting others in starts with letting ourselves feel—especially the parts we've kept buried or dismissed.
- Shifting from control to trust is a journey of nervous system safety and self-compassion.
- You don’t need to be “fixed” to be loved—you need to be seen and softened.
How to Get Over It & On With It:
- Notice where “I’ve got it” may actually be a defense, not empowerment.
- Practice small acts of receiving: compliments, support, kindness, physical affection.
- Reparent the younger version of yourself who had to grow up fast—give her what she never received.
- Use body-based practices to reconnect with your emotions and signal safety to your nervous system.
- Explore relational growth in environments that offer support, compassion, and emotional safety.
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