Today on SelfWork, we're talking with a mother and father whose beloved daughter Ella, at age 24, died by suicide. And how they've dedicated their lives to suicide prevention.
I was introduced to Martha and Chris Thomas through a family member who told me about their daughter’s suicide. They’ve chosen a path, along with their son Solomon, an NFL football player, to try and keep any other family from living through the horrific pain they've experienced. And more importantly, to keep others who might be going through what Ella was experiencing to consider suicide.
First and foremost, they've created a non-profit suicide prevention website as well as offering many programs through it; It's called The Defensive Line. And they are reaching coaches, teachers, families - anyone who might not understand the pressure that young people, especially young people of color, are trying to handle.
Not only are they incredibly transparent about their own individual struggles. Solomon, who plays professional football battled suicidal thoughts himself after Ella’s death. Martha went to his NFL team leadership to help her help her son, “I can’t lose another child.” She realized that he might greatly resent her for that. But had to take the chance.
And Chris - drowning himself in alcohol to cope – and realizing that was far from the way he could honor Ella. Now he's sober and working alongside Martha and Solomon to reach more young people, especially young people of color. Ella’s struggles were complex, but some were rooted in the fact that she was biracial. She also experienced a brutal rape, which she kept a secret for years.
I’m honored to introduce the SelfWork audience to this family. Their ongoing mission is to speak anywhere and do anything they can to stop anyone from dying by suicide. Martha says quite fervently, “Ella should be alive.” Sadly, the way she is alive is through the dedication and love her family have for her.
I almost feel as if I know Ella. And hopefully, you will too. And realize that you can never take for granted that someone is “okay” because they seem “okay.”