Your partner is not your child, so if you're doing everything for them (when they could do these things for themselves), you are overfunctioning. If you grew up with trauma, you may have been “programmed” to pick up all the slack, which might work for a little bit, but eventually it breeds resentment and breakdown of the relationship. Overfunctioning doesn't change by itself when the relationship ends though. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman with CPTSD who left her underfunctioning partner, and will do almost anything NOT to play that role when she dates someone new.
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