logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2025
49m 51s

127: How To Set Boundaries Without Feeli...

The Sabrina Zohar Show
About this episode
Welcome back, babes! In today’s episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, I’m joined by the one and only Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, author of Boundary Boss, and expert on all things boundaries, people-pleasing, and codependency.

We’re breaking down what boundaries actually are (and what they aren’t), why so many people get them wrong, and how to set them without guilt. Terri also shares her personal journey of leaving the entertainment industry to follow her passion for psychology, plus practical tools to help you stop self-abandoning, start advocating for yourself, and build stronger, healthier relationships.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ The #1 reason people struggle with boundaries (Hint: It starts in childhood)
✅ The difference between a boundary, a preference, and an ultimatum – and how to know which one you’re setting
✅ Why people-pleasing isn’t “nice” – it’s dishonest (and how to stop)
✅ How to handle the guilt that comes with setting boundaries – and why it’s actually a sign of growth
✅ What to do when someone says, “You’ve changed” (spoiler: it’s a good thing)
✅ The truth about texting, boundaries, and dating expectations – why demanding daily texts is not a boundary, it’s control
✅ How to know if your standards are “too high” or if you’re avoiding intimacy
✅ The red flags of high-functioning codependency and how to break the cycle

Get Terri's Book: Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
Take Terri's boundaries quiz

MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE!

Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE!
Do you feel like your emotions run the show and react in ways you can’t control? Join the Nervous System 101: Navigating the Unknowns In Early Dating from Sabrina and Masha Kay HERE!
Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE!

Get Ad free HERE!
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!

Please support our sponsors!
Get $10 off and FREE shipping at Nutrafol HERE! Code is SABRINA

Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
Up next
Jul 4
148: Dating Avoidant Attachment: Tools, Myths & How to Build Real Connection
Unlock the secrets to building healthy relationships with avoidant partners in this episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show. Sabrina breaks down the realities of dating someone with avoidant attachment, debunks common myths, and shares practical tools to foster genuine connection. Whet ... Show More
39m 41s
Jun 27
147: Why Friendships Can Be Harder Than Romantic Relationships
On this week's episode of The Sabrina Zohar, reflects on one of the most asked question about "Non-Romantic Friendship". She opens up about the complexities of platonic relationships, from the heartbreak of friendship breakups to navigating the anxiety of making new friends in ad ... Show More
39m 45s
Jun 20
146: Why Your Conversations Fail and How to Fix Them with Charles Duhigg
Join Sabrina Zohar and Charles Duhigg — a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author of The Power of Habit and Supercommunicators, and current writer for The New Yorker — as they break down the communication skills vital for building better relationships. In this episo ... Show More
49m 50s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2024
S2, Ep 10 Dial Emma: Guilt in Friendship - how do I stop feeling guilty for moving away from my friends?
Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week ... Show More
10m 58s
Dec 2024
Terri Cole: Stop Trying to Fix Everyone. Signs You’re a High-Functioning Codependent and How to Break the Cycle
What does it really mean to help someone, and where do we draw the line? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, I sit down with the incredible Terri Cole, a psychotherapist whose own life experiences offer a profound look into the world of high-functioning codependency. Terri shar ... Show More
1h 16m
Oct 2024
Focus on Yourself: 3 Signs You’re Giving Too Much & What to Do About It Right Now
When was the last time you said "no" without feeling guilty? Or set a boundary and actually stuck to it? If you can’t remember, today’s episode is the wake-up call you need. Boundaries can protect your time, energy, and mental space, and yet for so many of us, boundaries are hard ... Show More
1h 10m
Apr 15
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
402. Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole. Amanda, Glennon, and Abby are joined by licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, Terri Cole, to talk about high-functioning codependency—a term Terri coined to describe those who appear highly capable ... Show More
56m 14s
Aug 2024
What to Do When Someone Crosses Your Boundary: Codependency Recovery in Action
What to Do When Someone Crosses Your Boundary: Codependency Recovery in Action In this powerful episode, we dive into the crucial topic of boundaries. Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your emotional well-being. However, for those who h ... Show More
48m 6s
Sep 2024
Breaking Free of High Functioning CoDependency with Terri Cole
When you hear the word “codependent,” you might think of the traditional enabler framework involving a hapless victim and their selfless rescuer. Psychotherapist and boundary expert Terri Cole certainly did. However after years in her therapy practice, she realized that many of h ... Show More
46m 17s
Apr 8
If You Always Feel Like the ‘Bad Guy’—You Might Be Getting Gaslit | Nedra Tawwab (Fan Fav)
Fan Favorite: This episode originally aired on June 11, 2022. What up, homies! It's your girl Lisa Bilyeu, and welcome back to the Women of Impact podcast, where we're all about empowering women to recognize their worth and set those necessary boundaries. Today, my special guest ... Show More
1h 18m
Jun 2024
#380: Take Accountability For Your Relationships: How to Do The Work with Sabrina Zohar
In this episode, I welcome dating coach Sabrina Zohar to discuss all things dating and relationship. Sabrina explains how anxious and avoidant personalities often find themselves in codependent relationships and explores the challenges social media influences bring to modern dati ... Show More
1h 4m
Dec 2024
S3, Ep 12 Dial Emma: Insecurity in Relationships - how can I build trust with my partner when our relationship started as an affair?
Welcome back to the last episode of Dial Emma for this season! You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, Emma hears from a listener who is navigating feelings of insecurit ... Show More
11m 9s
Apr 23
You’re Probably Thinking About Boundaries All Wrong
KC Davis is a therapist and author known for her practical, empathetic advice on dealing with clutter, even when you are feeling like too much of a mess yourself to take care of the mess in your home. Her TikTok videos on the subject have been viewed millions of times. But lately ... Show More
39m 29s