logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2025
40m 58s

If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Exp...

The New York Times
About this episode

When Samaiya Mushtaq was growing up, she imagined marrying a kind Muslim man, and at 21, she did. But while studying to become a psychiatrist in medical school, she realized her husband couldn’t meet her emotional needs — something she deeply craved. Despite the shame she felt, she got a divorce.

In this episode, Mushtaq shares the twists and turns of her unexpected second chance at love, where service is at the center. From working in health care during the pandemic to building a family to undertaking harrowing service trips to Gaza, she found what she truly needed in a marriage — only after letting go of what she thought she wanted.

Samaiya Mushtaq’s memoir will be published by Daybreak Press next winter.

This episode was inspired by her 2023 essay, “Must We Feel Shame Over Divorce?

Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times

Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Up next
Today
Let Mel Robbins Share Her 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship
The best-selling author and motivational podcast host Mel Robbins is known for her blunt advice and viral wisdom, from The 5-Second Rule to countless proverbs on relationships, confidence and everyday stuck-ness. Her most recent book, “The Let Them Theory,” has given her readers ... Show More
50m 21s
Jul 2
‘The Interview’: Ocean Vuong was Ready to Kill. Then a Moment of Grace Changed His Life.
This week on Modern Love, we’re bringing you a conversation we liked so much that we’re envious we didn’t get to have ourselves. In a raw but deeply heartfelt and compassionate conversation with “The Interview" host David Marchese, author and poet Ocean Vuong talks about the real ... Show More
50m 52s
Jun 25
To Share or Not to Share? How Location Sharing Is Changing Our Relationships
When we asked Modern Love listeners how location sharing is affecting their relationships, the responses we got were all over the map. Some people love this technology. Some hate it. But either way, it has changed something fundamental about how we demonstrate our love and how we ... Show More
32m 54s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 29
‘Modern Love’: 'Materialists' Director Celine Song Believes in Love at First Conversation
The director Celine Song won over audiences and critics alike with her first feature film, “Past Lives,” the semi-autobiographical tale of a married Korean American woman meeting up with her former childhood sweetheart. Now Song is back with another story about love called “Mater ... Show More
32m 22s
Jun 2024
Overcoming Guilt
If you are a woman who is riddled with guilt or you constantly worry about how other people might feel when you make decisions, this episode is for you. Kate and Catherine share the reason why so many women suffer from chronic, neurotic guilt & anxiety. They show you how to break ... Show More
38m 24s
Oct 2024
Cooking Dreams & Destiny with Ina Garten
This week, step into the studio (and kitchen!) with Jen and Amy as they have an intimate and insightful conversation with the iconic Ina Garten, a true pioneer in the culinary world who has shaped the way we cook at home. As they delve into Ina's groundbreaking career, from the b ... Show More
1h 2m
Nov 2017
Success-Obsessed Parents & The Scapegoat Child
30 year-old Mary M. left America for Europe to escape not only an American culture that was wearing on her but a family where she was tired of being the scapegoat to her golden-child brother. An all-too-common scenario where her parents can only seem to support her financially bu ... Show More
2h 21m
Feb 2025
What's Love Got to Do with It: “Couples’ Therapy,” Narcissism, and Open Relationships with Dr. Orna Guralnik
Is there anything more captivating than watching couples work through their deepest, messiest relationship drama on screen? Honestly, probably not, y’all. So today, we’re talking to the brilliant Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst behind the award-winning docuseries “Couples Th ... Show More
45m 3s
Mar 2025
Her Husband Cheated & Wants a Baby with His Mistress… Now What? w/ Marriage Pinnacle
In this deeply emotional episode of Real Love Scenario, Dre and Rhonda tackle a listener’s heartbreaking dilemma—her best friend’s husband has been unfaithful and now wants to start a family with his mistress, while she struggles with infertility.Joined by Dr. Lara and Memi from ... Show More
1h 18m
Feb 2025
Goodbye Catherine: The Power of Letting Go
Goodbyes are so hard for so many - we hold onto our past selves, what we've outgrown, relationships, jobs, places, and people because we are afraid of what we don't know, afraid to step into those unknown places. But the unknown is where mystery lives - and it is inside that myst ... Show More
1h 15m
Dec 2023
Surviving Being Single for the Holidays - Encore
With the holidays already in full swing, we saw the benefit of bringing this episode back. If you are dreading the holidays - and being single at all the parties & family festivities, this episode is for you! Catherine & Kate share important tools and perspectives needed to feel ... Show More
32m 53s
May 28
298: Dating After Divorce, Addiction, and Choosing the Right Love w/ Laurie Woolever
In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Matthew sits down with Laurie Woolever—author of Care and Feeding: A Memoir—to explore the journey of reclaiming one’s voice after years of living in the shadow of larger-than-life figures like Anthony Bourdain and Mario Batali. Top ... Show More
1h 10m