In this week’s coaching session, Christine Hassler works with Ashlee, who is struggling with a question many people face: how do you know if you’re healed enough to enter a relationship? Ashlee shares her experiences with past relationships, childhood wounds, and codependent tendencies that have shaped her fears about choosing the right partner.
This episode isn’t just about dating—it’s about learning to trust yourself and shifting from fear-based decision-making to a place of wisdom and self-awareness. Christine helps Ashlee identify where her fear is coming from, how to recognize patterns, and what it really means to be ready for a relationship.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Have you been in relationships where you felt like you were “dating your wounds” instead of a truly compatible partner?
- Do you ever question whether you’re healed enough to be in a relationship?
- Are you struggling to trust yourself when it comes to picking the right partner?
- Do you find yourself looking for unconditional love in a romantic relationship—something you may not have received in childhood?
- Are you allowing your inner child to do the picking in relationships rather than your wise, adult self?
Key Insights and A-HAs:
- Healing is a lifelong process, and relationships will always bring opportunities for growth.
- It’s important to recognize whether you are attracting a partner from a place of neediness and past wounds or from a place of confidence and self-trust.
- Codependent tendencies, such as trying to fix or save a partner, often stem from unmet childhood needs.
- Trusting yourself is essential to creating a healthy relationship—without self-trust, fear takes over.
- A partner cannot replace or compensate for the unconditional love you may have lacked in childhood—healthy relationships require personal responsibility for healing.
How to Get Over It & On With It:
- Identify your inner child’s unmet needs and recognize how they might be showing up in your dating patterns.
- Shift from fear-based decision-making to trust-based dating—stop selecting partners based on what feels familiar (even if it’s unhealthy) and focus on what aligns with your vision of a secure relationship.
- Heal before seeking healing from others—a healthy relationship can be supportive, but it should not be a substitute for deep personal work.
- Create clear relationship values—write out what a healthy, mature, and non-codependent relationship looks like.
- Reframe your relationship expectations—instead of expecting a partner to “fix” or “heal” you, seek someone who supports your journey while maintaining a strong sense of self.
Upcoming Event: Love Magnet Workshop
If you’re looking to attract love from a place of wholeness, Christine’s free three-day “Love Magnet Workshop” is happening now. It’s not too late to join. Sign up at christinehassler.com/lovemagnet.
Upcoming Retreat: March 2024
Christine and Stefanos will be hosting a transformational retreat at The Art of Living Center. This immersive experience is designed to help you step into your most authentic self. The retreat is open to all genders and relationship statuses. Learn more and register at christinehassler.com/retreat.
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