Most of us don’t realize how much our communication habits shape our relationships—until they start causing problems. Whether it’s shutting down, reacting defensively, or struggling to express ourselves clearly, these patterns can hold us back. But what if we could change the way we communicate?
Cynthia Kane, best-selling author and founder of the Kane Intentional Communication Institute, has helped over 70,000 people do just that. After the sudden loss of her first love, she discovered the Buddhist principles of right speech—truthfulness, non-exaggeration, helpful language, and avoiding gossip—which transformed how she spoke to herself and others.
In The Pause Principle, Cynthia introduces the SOFTEN technique, a method for managing reactivity by creating space between stimulus and response. Whether at work or home, this practice helps us stay calm, reduce conflict, and strengthen our relationships. Her message is simple: with practice, we can all learn to communicate with greater clarity, kindness, and intention.
The Biggest Helping: Today’s Most Important Takeaway
“You can change the way that you communicate. I think that most of the time, we don't think it's possibl,e and it really is a learned practice. It is something that you can shift and change and start learning new practices to start interacting in a way that feels really, really good to you.”
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