logo
episode-header-image
Dec 2024
25m 46s

#169: Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It & How ...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into self-sabotage—those frustrating patterns where we seem to work against our own best interests. Whether it’s procrastination, pushing people away, or avoiding opportunities, self-sabotage can feel like an endless cycle. 

We cover:

  • What self-sabotage really is: Understanding how it’s often a misguided attempt to keep us safe.
  • Why we get stuck: Exploring the fears, limiting beliefs, and unmet needs that fuel sabotaging behaviour.
  • How to shift these patterns: Where to focus your attention to break the cycle and create new, supportive habits.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Up next
Nov 20
#215: Resentment, Real Repair, Conflict Avoidance & Navigating Dating With Kids — ft. James ‘Fish’ Gill
<p>In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend James “Fish” Gill for a listener Q&amp;A all about conflict, communication, and staying connected through hard moments.</p><p>We explore some big questions, including:</p><ul><li><strong>How to release resentment</strong> when a conf ... Show More
1h 10m
Nov 11
#214: Parenting Q&A: Fears About Having Kids, Staying Connected After a Baby, Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics & More
In this special episode of On Attachment, I sit down with my partner Joel to answer your questions about our journey into parenthood with our now 18 month old son. We explore the transition to parenting, how our attachment styles have shaped the experience, and what helps us stay ... Show More
23m 16s
Nov 4
#213: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions & Trust Yourself More
So many of us spend our lives orienting around what other people think of us — seeking approval, avoiding disapproval, and constantly scanning for reassurance that we’re doing, saying, and being the “right” thing.If you lean towards anxious attachment patterns, this makes perfect ... Show More
17m 27s
Recommended Episodes
Oct 3
Why Avoidant Men Struggle to Love (and How to Fix It)
<p>Why do avoidant men struggle so much with love, vulnerability, and connection? </p> <p>In this video, we break down how avoidant attachment forms, why it creates barriers in relationships, and what can actually be done to move forward.</p> <p>Topics Covered:  👉 What is attach ... Show More
50m 58s
Jul 2025
The 4 Phases of the Anxious-Avoidant Trap (and How to Break Free)
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a relationship that’s intense, confusing, and emotionally draining - you’re not alone. In this episode, we break down the 4 predictable phases of the anxious-avoidant trap:✨ The Honeymoon⚡ The Trigger🎢 The Push & Pull😮‍💨 The ExhaustionYou’ll learn ... Show More
35m 30s
Oct 6
Why Fear Keeps You Stuck (and How to Break Free)
This clip is from Brendon's 2hr training in ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠GrowthDay app⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Get the full training by becoming a member: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://growthday.go.link/gCW0U⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have you ever felt like you’re capable ... Show More
19m 13s
Sep 18
The Science of Getting Unstuck: Simple Tools That Actually Work | Britt Frank
<p>Feel stuck despite knowing exactly what you want to do? </p><br><p>Neuropsychotherapist Britt Frank reveals why stuckness isn't a character flaw but a brain state you can change, sharing science-backed strategies from her book <a href="https://amzn.to/3ydyHw4" rel="noopener no ... Show More
58m 33s
Aug 26
Is THIS The Most Toxic Habit of Anxious Attachment?
<p>✨ Ever feel like your brain just won’t shut off... even when everything’s actually fine in your relationship? You’re spiraling, checking for signs, running worst-case scenarios, and overanalyzing their every move... but you know deep down, it’s you, not them. 🤯</p> <p>On this ... Show More
22m 54s
Sep 10
Why Smart Women Stay in Toxic Relationships (And Ignore the Red Flags) | Dr. Anna Machin
Craving love can connect us—or leave us vulnerable to harm we never saw coming. In this episode, I (Lisa Bilyeu) sit down with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin to peel back the science behind why we’re drawn to love, why it can blind us to red flags, and how manipulato ... Show More
55m 11s
Aug 16
Breaking Free from the Obligation Trap: 4 Steps to Reclaim Your Time, Energy, and Money
If part one revealed how obligations are draining your life, part two is your roadmap out. In this follow-up, we move from awareness to action with a practical, four-step framework designed to help you reclaim your time, energy, and money without guilt. From learning how to audit ... Show More
20m 54s
Mar 2025
#185 - Fear of Rejection & Negative Thinking: How to HEAL the Two Most Common Things Keeping You STUCK
➡️ Join AwakenU: https://www.dannymorel.com/awakenuIf you’re ready for more—more clarity, abundance and alignment, AwakenU is your next step.Whether you want to awaken spiritually, heal emotionally, attract your dream relationship, or unlock true financial freedom, AwakenU is you ... Show More
6m 45s
May 2024
What is a "situationship"?
Opening up about a past "situationship" was incredibly difficult (or should I say embarrassing), but I really wanted to share with you all how that experience illuminated my insecure attachment patterns and codependent behaviors that I was completely unaware of.What is a situatio ... Show More
1h 2m
Apr 2025
227. How to Stop Caring What People Think with Mel Robbins
You know that little voice in your head that says, “What will they think?” The one that’s held you back from hitting publish, setting a boundary, or even just being yourself? Yeah, we’re done with that. In this episode, I sit down with the iconic Mel Robbins to talk about how to ... Show More
1h 22m