I’m back with another solo episode and I’m giving you a recap of what I discussed in my latest workshop, Parenting on the Same Page. Many people struggle with conflict between their partners inside their homes on a day-to-day basis regarding parenting decisions. While they love and respect each other at the core, the heightened moments of emotion and stress can cause friction between two parents. I’m going to share with you the three tools you can implement today to help get back to parenting as a team.

All Feelings are Welcome. All Behaviors are Not

What is the emotion or feeling your child is experiencing?
What is the behavior you don’t want to see? What is the behavior you do want to see?
As you are calm and steady as the parent, you set clear boundaries for behavioral expectations.
You need a game plan to address these situations and avoid reacting in an escalated way toward your child and each other.
How can you validate the feeling your child is experiencing while still holding your boundary?
How can you lean on each other in these stressful moments to help each other out?
When you parent consistently on the same team, you will see a reduction of your child’s challenging behaviors.

Be Reflective of the Language You Use with Each Other

Connect, don’t correct.
Connective language is focused on yourself, your emotions, and your feelings, and finding a way to connect on a similar level with your partner.
Have these discussions in moments of calm so you can both approach the conversation from a regulated place.

A Dysregulated Adult Cannot Help a Dysregulated Child

If your immediate reaction is to become dysregulated when your child behaves a certain way, it will not help the situation.
You need to work through what the triggers are that cause you to feel dysregulated in stressful moments.
Using breathing and physical redirection can help you to calm down and pause.
Use PARR to become a more responsive parent.

Resources:

- I have three one-on-one coaching spots left for 2024! If you sign up for coaching with me, I’m offering a free, 60 minute bonus session called “Optimizing Your Schedule” that helps you create a schedule that works for you and find your balance.

- Dr. Aliza Pressman, The 5 Principles of Parenting: https://draliza.com/

- Free Self Regulation Workshop download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parents

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