logo
episode-header-image
Sep 2024
52m 20s

Ask Uncut - The Challenges of Long Dista...

BRITTANY HOCKLEY AND LAURA BYRNE
About this episode

Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This episode was recorded a week in advance as Britt is visiting Ben in Romania. Britt opens up about some of the challenges of long distance and what she’s really struggling with at the moment.

Britt has also called one of our listeners a loser. We deeply apologise YourGirlSidney

Do you think it’s okay to be in a relationship if you know that the person isn’t ‘the one’ (or end game) for you? How long is it okay to be ‘working’ this out? Does it depend on the age of the people in the relationship?

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Your Girl Sidney 

Keeshia: Medusa Wispy Light Human Hair Fringe - Air Bangs- Clip In

Laura App Eat Club

Then we get into your questions!

HE WON’T GO DOWN ON ME & DOESN’T MAKE AN EFFORT TO PLEASURE ME
I'm 21 and my male partner is 23. We have been together for 3 years. Since we have been together he has only gone down on me maybe 3 times in total for about 20 seconds. I have brought this up with him and asked why he doesn't do it and he replies with "I don't like it sorry" which is totally fine but when we do have sex I never get anything out of it as he never really tries to pleasure me. We have tried sex toys but I think he gets awkward about it and then it never happens again. I talk to my friends about it but all they say is tell me that my relationship is not right and tell me about how good they have it. Sometimes I wonder what I am missing out on. Every other part of our relationship is amazing because he is an amazing human who I love so much. Am I missing out ? And if so what the hell do I do?

HE LIED ABOUT HAVING AN STI
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7-8months. He asked me to help him with a work medical claim, he sent over a pack of documents for me to read to help him write a letter. Reading the documents it said he had herpes. When we first started dating I made sure we both had sexual health checks - he was pushing to have sex without a condom, something I’ve never done and didn’t feel comfortable doing without the STI checks prior. The tests came back with no issues flagged so we started having unprotected sex. 7 months later I read this document - he said initially that “he forgot,” then ended up telling me he lied to me because he thought I would break up with him if I knew. Additional context: his previous girlfriend gave him herpes and also didn’t tell him until 2 months into dating. I don’t know what to do - I thought this guy was my penguin, help!

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH A COLLEAGUE
Should I enter a short term friends with benefits situation with a colleague that’s leaving at the end of the year even though I’m inexperienced and not sure how I’ll emotionally handle it? I think it could be a great idea for my overall satisfaction and self confidence, but I don't want to get rejected, or catch feelings and then get really sad when I’m rejected and/or he moves away. Is it worth the risk for good sex?

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Up next
Yesterday
Could You Be A Revenge Addict Without Even Knowing It? Uncut with James Kimmel
Why do we want to hurt the people that hurt us?Over the years we have spoken about so many different aspects of relationships but today’s topic is one we have never fully unpacked before and it’s one of the most destructive forces in relationships: revenge. We don’t always call i ... Show More
54m 44s
Oct 7
Are Age Gaps Class Coded or Creepy? ChemRIZZtry, Curveball Crushing & Casting
Hey lifers!Poppy has popped out! She’s just the cutest! Next week we will have an episode with Laura about Poppy’s birth. Britt is always *rooting for long distance relationships. She’s been over to see Ben in Italy and been reminded that she found herself a bit of a chefing unic ... Show More
1 h
Oct 5
Ask Uncut - Ex-Husband’s Emails… And She’s STILL Reading Them 👀
Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions! Britt has been in Italy and Laura has had a baby! If you found out the gender of your baby when you were pregnant, was it correct? Google AI says it’s wrong in Australia about 5% of the time. We’d love to ... Show More
46m 3s
Recommended Episodes
Dec 2020
E216 Ask Nick - I May Be Dating A Psychopath
We start this episode of Ask Nick with a caller that has been friends with someone for 20 years and all this time later sees what she thinks is an opportunity for the friendship to be get to the next level, but is she really just Ted from Schitt’s Creek? Second we speak with a wo ... Show More
1h 17m
Oct 6
Help, I’m Having Doubts About My Partner!
It’s just us this week and we’re breaking down a listener email about the relatable crisis of having doubts about your long-term partner. We discuss so many aspects of relationships and marriages -- marrying young (and what IS the optimal age to say I Do), not growing in the same ... Show More
1h 19m
Apr 2025
Hotline Calls: I’m Sore from Oral Sex
You’re in my Hotlines today, and Producer Erica and I are taking your calls! Today’s theme: conversations you need to have with your sex partners.First, how long should you wait to tell casual sex partners you’re sleeping with other people? We’re all up-leveling our communication ... Show More
41 m
Feb 2024
E705 Ask Nick - My Coworker Won't Stop Flirting With Me
Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We’re back to answer your burning questions about the world of dating and relationships. We start off with a written Ask Nick, who’s boyfriend is still friends with his exes and likes other girls’ photos on ins ... Show More
1h 48m
Aug 25
(Matt Monday): How to Know When to Leave a Relationship
What do you do when you love someone deeply, but something still feels off in the relationship? In this week’s episode, I sit down with TV and podcast host Kamie Crawford to tackle one of the hardest situations in love: how to walk away from a relationship that’s full of love but ... Show More
22m 56s
Sep 2020
E172 Ask Nick - He Is Not Changing For You
On this episode of Ask Nick we start with a woman who has two challenges when it comes to sex and dating. She speaks with Nick about how to approach 1) discussing with her partners the fact that she is deaf and 2) her fear of vaginal penetration. Next, we speak with someone whose ... Show More
1h 2m
Sep 2024
458 | Dating Clutter
The Minimalists speak with clinical psychologist Orion Taraban about minimizing dating clutter to form more meaningful intimate relationships. Discussed in this episode: Any advice for dating again after the end of a long relationship? (2:08) How do I avoid carrying past baggage ... Show More
1 h
Apr 2021
596 How does poly in person look?
Two topics this week! What does post-pandemic poly look like, and how do you keep your boyfriend from surprising you with new partners when you've asked him not to? 0:00 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com We’re in top 20 podcasts about polyamory! ... Show More
31m 10s
Jan 2025
The Importance of Separateness in a Relationship Revisit
I discuss living apart from my husband and the importance of maintaining a separate identity outside of your partnership. When we lack separateness, one or both partners can end up feeling trapped and lacking desire for one another. We cover: why separateness is important for a r ... Show More
48m 40s
Feb 2025
#108 - Throwback Episode: “Am I in the ‘Right Relationship?”
Bringing back an oldie but goodie episode this week! Whether you’re hearing it for the first time, or if you heard it when it first aired back in January 2023, I hope you will find some nuggets of wisdom to take away. Is there such thing as the “right relationship?” Why is this s ... Show More
18m 48s