logo
episode-header-image
Jul 2024
42m 12s

Why do I always feel so hopeless?

Kati Morton, LMFT
About this episode

This week on Ask Kati Anything (ep. 224) licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about how therapists react when clients have breakthroughs, how we can fight hopelessness, and ways that we can more easily talk to a therapist of the opposite sex about sensitive topics. She then dives into why it can be hard for so many of us to feel and process emotions, how to deal with attachment in therapy, and why our attachment styles can vary so much. 1. Hi Kati, I'm interested to know when a client (who struggles to show emotions) starts to get upset, angry, emotional etc.. Do you internally but not visibly celebrate? A lot of people including myself hate seeing someone upset, although I'd never try to stop them expressing what they are feeling. 00:46 2. Hi Kati, How do you fight hopelessness when it feels like mental health has consumed your life. Even though I am not at the very bottom anymore, my psychiatrist told me there's a good chance I'll experience severe depression again and again (have had severe depression on a non-functional level in 2023 and 2014, but I'm improving with medication and back to work at my warehouse job). How do I feel like I am not doomed due to mental illness? 08:03 3. I see a therapist of the opposite gender and some topics are a little sensitive to talk about, any tips on getting started? 13:20 4. Hi Kati! After therapy sessions, I often struggle for days, unable to fully feel or let go of emotions. I intellectualize a lot, but I also have a constant feeling that there is something I’ve missed sharing. Why is it so hard for some of us to just feel and process emotions? Also, do therapists get frustrated when clients reach out outside of sessions but struggle to express themselves during sessions? 18:30 5. My question is about attachment problems starting from early life. I have this problem with my therapist that when he posts about his other clients who are similar age to me (he is a lot older than me) and how proud he is with them, I withdraw and leave. I think I'm so used to people leaving me for the “other” in any condition I have been in. Since I was a child my siblings preferred my cousins visiting us and my coping way was to live my life independently as they were ignoring me. 28:51 6. Hi Kati! I completed your attachment workshop, and it was extremely helpful! I have some relationships with people where I lean towards anxious attachment and others where I lean towards avoidant. More specifically, anyone who I feel is like a motherly figure, I get more anxiously attached, but with my family and friends I am avoidant. Would this still be considered disorganized attachment even though there isn’t necessarily “push and pull” within each relationship, and it’s more just operating in one extreme or the other depending on who it is? What would cause someone to have such different attachment tendencies in different relationships? 34:49 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

Up next
Today
Can You Be a Good Friend While Struggling? Boundaries, self-care & healing trauma
Are you struggling to support a friend's mental health crisis while battling your own? This essential episode of Ask Kati Anything dives deep into setting healthy boundaries in tough friendships, tackling the crucial question of how to protect your peace without guilt. We also ex ... Show More
50m 57s
Oct 2
"Am I stuck in survival mode?"
Today, I'm answering your top questions on trauma recovery, emotional processing, and breaking free from mental blocks. I'm diving deep into how to move out of functional freeze and start feeling again, what structure is actually needed in therapy sessions, and the hard but essen ... Show More
50m 33s
Sep 25
Are You 'High-Functioning' but Secretly Depressed? (Psychiatrist Explains)
High-functioning depression is a silent struggle for many. Are you walking through life, feeling overwhelmed, but still managing to keep it all together? Dr. Joseph shares insights from her groundbreaking, peer-reviewed study, the first of its kind on high-functioning depression. ... Show More
1h 1m
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2024
412: Ask David: Give-Get Imbalance; Best Anxiety Treatment; Externalization of Voices; and more
Feeling Down? Try the Feeling Great App for Free! The Feeling Great App is now available in both app stores (IOS and Android) and is for therapists and the general public, and you can take a ride for free! Check it out at FeelingGreat.com! What's a Give-Get Imbalance? What's the ... Show More
1h 5m
Sep 12
How to Feel your Feelings: Step-by-Step Exercise and full debrief w/ Thomas McConkie, Mindfulness
Together we're going to do a Meditation for Emotions with Mindfulness Instructor Thomas McConkie. We're going to talk about how to work with the embodiment of emotions and how to create space for all our feelings, even the ones that are painful or frightening. You can learn more ... Show More
43m 23s
Feb 2025
Lasting Treatments for Anxiety vs. Coping Skills - Is THIS why Therapy isn't working?
Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Have you tried a bunch of stuff to manage anxiety and depression, but you’re still struggling? This might be why: Some strategies that work great for the short term, ... Show More
16m 8s
Feb 2025
5 Lies Depression Tells You - Depression Motivation, it gets better
Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Use coupon code with coupon code CYB-YT-FREE to get the Change Your Brain Course for FREE here: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/offers/u7KxQqAp Depression is ... Show More
9m 50s
Jul 2023
Anxiety and Depersonalization / Derealization (Ep. 020)
Depersonalization and Derealization - AKA "DP/DR" This week Drew and Josh get into the nuts and bolts of this most common anxiety and stress response. This is the sense that you're not real, that you're detached from yourself, or that the world around you suddenly feels u ... Show More
38m 18s
Jan 2025
Hate Affirmations? How to Improve your Self-Esteem Anyway
Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Today, we’re going to talk about what you can do to improve your self-esteem even if you hate positive affirmations. For me, and for many of my clients, it never wor ... Show More
18m 24s
Dec 2023
Episode 377: Preparing for Couples Therapy & Managing Depersonalization and Derealization
Hello friends! In Episode 377, we tackle two profound listener questions that shed light on unique mental health and relationship challenges. Our first discussion revolves around a listener gearing up for couples therapy. They share their apprehension about conveying years of exp ... Show More
38m 32s
Aug 8
Make Difficult Conversations Easier With A Therapy Based Method for Empathic, Conflict Avoidant People
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Still hoping that problem will just go away if you stay quiet?Avoiding hard conversations might feel like the safe route—but ... Show More
11m 58s
Oct 1
Emotional Avoidance Isn’t Helping You Cope — Here’s Why
In this episode, I explore emotional avoidance — what it looks like, why it shows up in women with high-functioning anxiety, and how it often ties back to childhood trauma.We also dive into how disconnection from your body keeps emotions stuck, and practical ways to notice and ge ... Show More
17m 46s
Sep 5
How To Stop Ruminating About Old Relationships & Attachments and Let Go With A Therapy Technique
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Why do old loves still haunt us...sometimes decades later?That late-night dorm call, the heartbreak, the chaos… your brain re ... Show More
8m 55s