logo
episode-header-image
Oct 2023
35m 14s

"It's Always F*cking Safety!" (Q&A Sessi...

Alyssa Zander
About this episode
tail spinning
Up next
May 20
The “loving” relationship pattern that’s actually hurting you
Have you ever done something “nice” for someone… but secretly felt exhausted, resentful, or unseen afterward? This episode is about the hidden relationship dynamic underneath that pattern.After a conversation with my grandma about boundaries, family dynamics, and generational rel ... Show More
34m 45s
May 6
Why it’s so hard to receive support (even when you need it)
Have you ever pushed away support… even when you really needed it? This episode is about why receiving can feel so hard and what changes when we allow it.This episode is a little different. I’m showing up in real time, without a script, in the middle of a season that has complete ... Show More
35m 2s
Apr 1
The trust-breaking pattern you don’t realize you’re doing in relationships
Have you ever wanted something from your partner but didn’t actually say it? This episode is about why we do that and how it slowly breaks trust in our relationships.This weekend, I caught myself in a pattern I’ve done many times before, and didn’t even realize I was doing it in ... Show More
24m 2s
Recommended Episodes
May 2025
531 - What's Wrong with Enjoying Consensual Sex with Multiple People? Listener Q&A
We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex. Join Dedeker and Orit Kru ... Show More
57m 2s
Apr 2024
#362: Heal Your Wounds & Reclaim Your Life Through Shadow Work w/ Violet Benson
In this episode, I welcome Violet Benson back to the podcast. We dive into the transformative process of shadow work and the impact of confronting grief. In order to help understand how past experiences have shaped our present behaviors, Violet speaks about the significance of un ... Show More
1h 11m
Dec 2024
#429: Community Member Coaching Sessions: The Path to Secure Attachment
In this transformative coaching session with Create The Love Community™ member Kyla Bouvier, Kyla candidly explores her journey of understanding attachment styles and how they influence her relationships, parenting, and professional aspirations. Together, we unpack her patterns o ... Show More
1h 11m
Dec 2024
#428: Community Member Coaching Sessions: Healing Childhood Wounds to Create a Life of Fulfillment
This episode offers a transformative glimpse into a coaching session with Kelly Pedrini — a Create The Love Community™ member who shares her journey of grappling with self-worth, unmet desires, and the longing for deeper connections in her life. Together, we uncover how childhood ... Show More
1h 41m
Sep 2023
Embracing Vulnerability: Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies for Mental Health and Healing
In this episode, Allison is joined by her partner Clay for an honest and introspective conversation about mental well-being, facing insecurities, cultivating more self-awareness and removing the masks we wear to the outer world. We are still very much navigating this territory bu ... Show More
1h 26m
Aug 2025
Fawning: Answering Your Questions With Dr. Ingrid Clayton
In this conversation, host Monique Koven has invited Dr Ingrid Clayton back to answer your questions. They explore the concept of fawning as a relational trauma response, discussing its implications on identity, relationships, and personal growth. They delve into the complexities ... Show More
50m 39s
Jun 2024
#379: What If You Already Know? Learning To Trust Your Intuition
In this episode, we dive into a conversation about intuition and self-expression. I explore the internal battle we face between conforming to societal norms and embracing our true selves and how this impacts our relationships, work, and personal development. We discuss the import ... Show More
16m 3s
Oct 2023
Part 3: The Core Strategy for Healing Anxious Attachment
This episode is thorough breakdown of what we need to understand an master of the journey to overcoming insecure attachment tendencies. Don't worry it's not complicated and you'll be able to pick it up easily. Open your mind and heart and let this episode connect you deeper to yo ... Show More
20m 44s
Aug 2025
544 - Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships by Seeking Security?
Today we're discussing our drive to seek security in relationships, especially as economic uncertainty increases, and how sometimes, that can turn around and bite us. We'll be talking about why we seek security in relationships, some paradoxes of security, and as always, some too ... Show More
58m 51s
May 2025
#455 Becoming the Curator of Your Mind
In this episode, I share a raw and reflective recording from a recent membership call where I explore what it means to truly surrender when life isn’t going the way we planned. I open up about personal struggles—from a home renovation disaster to deeper emotional reckonings—and u ... Show More
23m 37s