logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2024
42m 9s

177. Understanding our fear of intimacy

iHeartPodcasts
About this episode

Love is scary. There are so many opportunities to be hurt, to be let down, to have thing turn out in a way we never wanted them to. But it's also one of the best things in live and brings incredible joy and fulfilment. Why is it that some of us avoid the experience all together. In today's episode we are going to discuss the fear of intimacy in all its forms. We will discuss: 

  • Signs you have a fear of intimacy (serial dating, situationships, emotional avoidance)
  • Childhood and early relationship wounds
  • The fear of engulfment and overbearing parents 
  • How insecurity drives protectiveness 
  • Our misconceptions about love 
  • 4 steps to healing your fear of intimacy

We also discuss some of the ways people in their 20s might not realise they have a fear of intimacy and why our society sometimes celebrates the things that keep us in a state of avoidance. All of that and more, listen now! 

 

Follow the podcast: @thatpsychologypodcast 

Follow Jemma: @jemmasbeg 

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Up next
Aug 24
450. The psychology of the quarter life reinvention
In this episode, we explore the psychology of the quarter life reinvention: the period that can come after the confusion, uncertainty and identity crisis of our early and mid-20s, when things finally begin to fall into place. We look at how the quarter life crisis can transform u ... Show More
30m 42s
Aug 23
449. The psychology of your shadow self
What is the shadow self? And how do we meet ours? In today's episode we explore what it means to get curious about the shadow parts of ourselves. We take a grounded look at shadow work - where the idea came from, the layers of our psyche, and how the repressed parts of ourselves ... Show More
33m 10s
Aug 20
448. The psychology of reputation
We're talking about reputation. On a fundamental level, our reputations are a signal of our qualities that make us worth associating with, and we tend to spend a large amount of time ruminating and even obsessing over what others think of us. In this episode, we explore why we ne ... Show More
43m 17s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2025
Fear of Intimacy
This episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationship ... Show More
52m 16s
Nov 2023
Another type of fears
Whether it’s past traumas, personal insecurities, trust issues, or societal expectations.. These can all lead to a fear of love that is characterized by overthinking the affections we receive and not knowing how to react to the care and attention that people give us. In this epis ... Show More
25m 6s
Jul 2018
Ep 106: Fear of Intimacy + Commitment
In this episode I talk about why people are afraid of intimacy and commitment – and I do it for both sides of the relationship: the fearers and the chasers. So this is for anyone who was in a happy in a relationship and then their partner started distancing as soon as things got ... Show More
58m 24s
Apr 2024
How To Have Honest Conversations About What We Want In Love
<p>Ever felt like you're scared of expressing your honest feelings when dating or in a relationship? It can often feel scary to put ourselves on the line. Or to open up. Or to even admit to ourselves that we want to find love.&nbsp;In this episode, Matt and Audrey sit down to tal ... Show More
55m 30s
Feb 2025
How To Overcome Anxiety & Change Your Life | S1 E2
Taking risks is terrifying, but staying in the same place out of fear is even worse. In this episode, I dive into why we’re so afraid to take risks, what’s really holding us back, and how to push past the fear to chase what we truly want. If you’ve ever felt stuck or scared to ma ... Show More
16m 44s
Sep 2025
Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest hurdles in dating, often holding people back from putting themselves out there or forming deeper connections. In this episode, we unpack where this fear comes from, how it ties into past experiences and self-worth, and why rejection is not ... Show More
46m 42s
Jun 2022
161. Navigating Anxiousness in Dating
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Anxious attachment is tricky, and it can definitely get you into some relationship trouble if you don't know how to deal with it. It can leave you scared of true intimacy even though it's also what you want above all else.</span></p> <p><span st ... Show More
18m 4s
Nov 2021
Fear and Love (retreat talk)
Fear and Love (2021-11-01) - Only when we face our fears can we discover the freedom to love without holding back. This talk looks at how unprocessed fear contracts our body, heart and mind, and on a societal level is the cause of othering and violence. We then explore how arousi ... Show More
59m 41s
Nov 2025
The Biggest Fears in Dating (and How to Overcome Them) | Rewind
Why do we get so in our heads when we start dating someone new? In this episode, we dive deep into the most common fears people face in early dating — from getting too invested too soon, to navigating intimacy and exclusivity when someone’s seeing multiple people.With over 1,300 ... Show More
18m 12s
Listen to millions of songs and podcasts on Anghami