583 Poly Weekly live from Portland!

We interview a munch organizer and field audience questions at the Close In munch in Portland, Oregon

• If you’re under 18, visit scarletteen.com
• We’re at the Close In munch in Portland, Oregon!

Lessons learned include:

• poly and kinky people are everywhere
• it’s important to destigmatize a stigmatized group
• “Square up; what you want is fine; fuck ‘em all!”

• What advice would you give to solo polys?
  • net
  • Off the Relationship Escalator
• 12:45 How to come out to folks who aren’t familiar with poly?
  • Anticipate questions, be prepared, be calm, don’t take it personally, give them a year to freak out
  • Folks will match your tone, so adopt one of calm, easy compassion
• 16:00 How has poly changed in the last 14 years?
• 17:45 And now there are terms for everything!
  • my Poly Living keynote How Polyamory Became More Mainstream Than Peanut Butter
  • all the poly recommended reading
• 19:05 How do I bring up the birth control discussion?
  • Be brave and bring it up. Or leave a birth control pamphlet in the toilet for leisure reading! J
  • Use regular relationship check ins as a space to bring up any issues
• 22:15 What is your take on hierarchies?
  • If it works for everyone involved and it’s transparent, fine. But it doesn’t work for everyone (or me).
  • The challenge with hierarchies is that it sets up a permission model.
  • Be aware if you are talking about power structure or entanglement levels? If the latter, “nesting partner” might be more useful than “primary.”
• 26:15 My mom thinks my polyamory is a phase. Do you know folks who have lived out their lives as poly?
  • Allena Gabosch, Oberon Zell-Ravenhart, and many others.
  • Just as with child-rearing, having an extended network to help you in your old age is valuable.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Thanks to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.