logo
episode-header-image
May 2021
37m 19s

Season 3 Episode 8: Labels

Laura Boyle
About this episode

"You're nesting- like little birds!"

Laura this week examines labels for relationships (rather than labels for self-identity) and how they reflect our narratives of relationship and self, and what those have to do with how we identify our polyamorous relationships in particular versus monogamous relationships and relationship escalator style relating. What does it mean to be a partner? What terms do we use for our partners? Are we lovers? boy/girl/joyfriends? Something different?

One of the points she examines is the use of connotation in language - primary partner vs. nesting partner, vs. anchor partner as an example - what the differences and similarities of some of these terms are and why one might use one over another. She also examines how hierarchy, non-hierarchy, and relationship anarchy interact in this space and how language and labels for those types of relationships and expression of the emotional state of people in these relationships feed in.

All of these ideas are concepts that are being parsed out in individual relationships every day, and that are mentioned in passing on the blog but seldom the center of a piece. Some posts that touch on them are:

https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/the-relationship-escalator
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/defining-if-it-works-out
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/kitchen-table-and-parallel-polyamory-part-4-kitchen-table-polyamory
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/polyamorous-experts-or-why-i-don-t-call-myself-that
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/relationship-anarchy-applied-friends-with-benefits-and-play-partners

I'll try to get something written that synthesizes my points a bit more concisely and add it when it's ready, but for now, those are what we've got.

As always, our music is provided by the talented Vince Conaway who you can find at www.vinceconaway.com; the blog is at www.readyforpolyamory.com, the Patreon at patreon.com/readyforpolyamory; the ko-fi at www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory; you can join us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory, I'm on twitter @lauracb88 and instagram @readyforpolyamory.

Up next
Jan 2025
Season 9 Episode 1: What's in A Name: Polyamorous Jargon
Do you hear words like "compersion" and "metamour" and cringe internally? Or are you someone who is excited to have in-group markers like talking about a Kitchen Table relationship? This episode talks about when these terms are useful, when they're less so, why we use them, and t ... Show More
31m 30s
Aug 2024
Season 8 Episode 5: Post Non-monogamy and Beyond
In a conversation that ranges a little beyond both books, Laura and Andrea Zanin discuss: What is Post-Non-Monogamy? Does it matter whether non-monogamy is an identity? What benefit can we glean from a post-non-monogamous identity? What are some reasons one might be post-non-mono ... Show More
50m 27s
Aug 2024
Season 8 Episode 4: More Than Two, Second Edition
Eve Rickert, co-author of both editions of More Than Two, is on the show to discuss the process of creating More Than Two, Second Edition, what about it is different, why a second edition, and more. You can get More Than Two, Second Edition anywhere books are sold, with the offic ... Show More
38m 48s
Recommended Episodes
Feb 2025
516 - Is Solo Polyamory Right For You?
This week we're focusing on solo polyamory! We'll be covering what solo polyamory is, its variations and the different forms it can take, and why you might want to be solo polyamorous. We'll also go into detail about criticism of solo polyamory and what its implications might be ... Show More
52m 41s
Sep 2018
29 Polyamory with an Expert (Charyn Pfeuffer)
  What is polyamory and how do you do it?* I asked writer Charyn Pfeuffer, who practices polyamory and open relationship styles. Over the past two decades, Charyn's sex-positive writing has appeared in more than 100 media outlets, including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, The ... Show More
50m 47s
Feb 2025
What's Love Got to Do with It: “Couples’ Therapy,” Narcissism, and Open Relationships with Dr. Orna Guralnik
Is there anything more captivating than watching couples work through their deepest, messiest relationship drama on screen? Honestly, probably not, y’all. So today, we’re talking to the brilliant Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst behind the award-winning docuseries “Couples Th ... Show More
45m 3s
Dec 2024
Life in a Throuple. “People Often Sexualise Our Relationship But We Are Just 3 People Who All Love Each Other.” Uncut with Camp Throuple
Have you ever wondered what life would be like living with not one but two partners? Joining the podcast today are the wonderful Alana, Kevin and Megan who are a throuple! Kevin and Alana were in a relationship for 3 years when Alana expressed that she was bi curious and had thou ... Show More
40m 25s
May 27
531 - What's Wrong with Enjoying Consensual Sex with Multiple People? Listener Q&A
We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex. Join Dedeker and Orit Kru ... Show More
57m 2s
Feb 2025
Um Actually, Polyamorous People Are Hot
Dropout's Ify Nwadiwe and Emily Louise talk D&D, cheating exes, and how scary it is when your partner falls in love with someone else.   FREE TOYS OR DISCOUNTS ON TOYS! Everyone who signs up to my giveaway with Bellesa gets something! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/chillpolyamory- ... Show More
47m 58s
Nov 2023
A Guide to Open Relationships and Polyamory 💖💚💙
Listen to the full guide: About Polyamory 💖💚💙 This educational guide will answer any questions you may have about monogamy, polyamory, and everything in between. Are you interested in open relationships but have no idea where to start? This guide is a good place to start. Inte ... Show More
9m 28s
Nov 2024
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Do people still want arranged marriages in a modern world?
In Season 3 - Episode 3, I speak with the famous comedian duo Sundeep & Anand about the challenges of being in a long-term relationship. How do you keep the love alive and what do you when the spark is gone? Both Sundeep and Anand share their personal experiences with relationshi ... Show More
53m 11s
Jan 2025
512 - Before, During, and After Opening Up Your Relationship
Today we're going back to some polyamory 101 basics and talking about opening up previously monogamous relationships. We'll be talking about some helpful things to consider before opening up your relationship, what to do during the critical period where things are shifting, and h ... Show More
1h 1m