You are in charge now unlike the days of childhood when you were under the control, expectations and pscyopathologies of your parents. Your partner, spouse, ex-spouse, siblings and other family members are not entitled to intimidate or control you. Be kind with yourself.
Self Kindness activities include:
Move at our own pace; don't let anyone rush you. Many children are herded around and forced to move quickly by other family members. This is particularly stressful, causing nerves to fray, stomach roiling when they are forced to hurry mindlessly. It is distressing and disorienting.
Develop daily routines that work well for you and that orient you into the parasympathetic nervous system and out of the fight or flight sympathetic mode.
As a child you experienced the stresses of the sympathetic, especially if you grew up with a narcissistic parent and other personality disordered individuals.
The practice of diaphragmagtic breathing offers you an entree into the parasympathetic state. Disphragmatic breathing activates the vagus nerve. The awakening of the vagus nerve puts you into the parasympathetic---the calming, healing, restorative part of the nervous system. The origin of this kind of breathing has existed for thousands of years introduced by Indian practices called pranayama. The practice of pranayama is part of an ancient yoga that goes back in time with its origins in India in the sixth and fifth centuries BC.
Listen to beautiful music that speaks to you. You can hear these melodies or songs over and over again and always find them calming, inspiring, affirming, joyful.
Pay attention to your dreams. They are revealing invaluable messages. When you awaken from a dream, take a few minutes to digest it before you get up.
Expressive, unedited writing offers you an opening to your unconscious and your unique creativity. Messages that come through this writing are profound and help you to see through delusion to the true reality.
Be as kind with yourself as you are to others.
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