logo
episode-header-image
Jun 2023
37m 22s

Episode 360: Mixing up names and improvi...

JAMISON DANCE AND DAVE SMITH
About this episode

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

  1. At work, I occasionally mix names of people in my team when I refer to them in meetings. My mother used to do this with my siblings when I was a child and I hated it. I guess I am getting older. Should I just accept the defeat? Any suggestions how to deal with this?

  2. How do I find areas to improve without critical feedback? I’ve had regular 1-on-1s with multiple people over the years (managers, mentors, tech leads), and asked for feedback regularly. Yet, most, if not all of the feedback I received was positive. Even when I stress that I want to receive critical feedback as well, the other person tells me that they do give such feedback to other devs, they just don’t have anything to criticize!

    This sounds like a humble brag, but I’m concerned that I will stop growing and improving if this goes on. I’m also a bit worried that deep down, the managers/leads just keep quiet to keep me happy - either because we have a friendly relationship, or because I’m one of the only women on the team (not trying to accuse them of sexism, but lets be real - “locker room talks” are held back when I’m around, and it might cause some people to be less frank to avoid possible “‘drama”).

    Due to the lack of direction, I’m trying to look at my senior colleagues and what they do better than me - do they have more technical knowledge, do they communicate better, etc. - but it’s often hard to apply to myself due to specializing in different areas, having different personalities and so on.

Up next
Oct 6
Episode 481: I'm bored and will I ever find out why I was fired?
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hi Dave and Jamison, After fleeing a sinking ship of a startup, I became a solo developer at a medium sized college. This role has really allowed me to expand and grow in ways that I haven’t imagined, but I have encountere ... Show More
29m 3s
Sep 29
Episode 480: Do I just coast until I quit and going back to work after a long time
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: (follow-up from question 449) Hello. Return question asker here. You answered my question from episode 449 “my tech lead ignored my warnings”. I want to give a follow up. I sat by and did not say anything else, he shipped ... Show More
27m 9s
Sep 22
Episode 479: Contractors to the rescue and dinged for delay
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hey skillet nation, long time skilletee first time skilleter here. I started at a scale up about 6 months ago and recently, I was asked to help with a project that was greatly behind schedule. The folks responsible for the ... Show More
34m 57s
Recommended Episodes
May 2022
Thanks for the Feedback...Not!
Does anyone enjoy having to give or receive difficult or “constructive” feedback? Hearing that you are not hitting the mark is never fun. Nor is it enjoyable to be the person who must burst the bubble. Yet, without feedback, it’s hard to know how to adjust one’s performance and b ... Show More
32m 1s
Feb 2021
Therese Huston | How to Manage Criticism Effectively & Make Feedback Your Superpower
In today’s episode, we cover effective feedback with Therese Huston. Therese founded the Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning at Seattle University, has given more than 225 keynotes, talks, and workshops, and is the author of Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Sup ... Show More
1h 10m
Nov 2020
Remote Feedback
Is it hard for you to give or get feedback virtually? Dan and Alison answer your questions with the help of Marcus Buckingham, a cohead of the ADP Research Institute and the author of Nine Lies about Work. They talk through what to do when you want to tell your boss they’re derai ... Show More
31m 20s
Apr 2023
#64: The Role of Criticism in Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics
Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by dif ... Show More
23m 52s
Jan 2023
#332 - How Do People See You
Have you ever been told that “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it?” As maddening as this can be to hear (especially if it’s lobbed at you in the middle of a disagreement), it’s also true: The way we deliver a message impacts the way it’s received just as much as the messag ... Show More
1h 4m
Mar 2024
Be my mentor #5 - Breaking barriers for women in the workplace
“Gender equality not only liberates women but also men from prescribed gender stereotypes.” - Emma Watson In this compelling episode, join hosts Jacqueline and Christina as they welcome Julie Allison, COO at Bloomflow and an esteemed HEC Paris EMBA Alumni. Together, they delve in ... Show More
36m 4s
Aug 2023
Ep. 79 - Cultivating Assertive Communication
In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the art of assertive communication, and how we all can cultivate the skills needed to communicate in this way. Plus, they share their own personal experiences being afraid to be assertive for fears of not being liked, and more! Fo ... Show More
1h 2m
Aug 2018
Poor Communicators
Is miscommunication a constant problem at your workplace? Dan and Alison answer your questions with the help of Holly Weeks, a lecturer at Harvard University. They talk through what to do when your coworker won’t stop talking, your boss overcommunicates with everyone on a project ... Show More
38m 18s