logo
episode-header-image
Dec 2022
1h 1m

When It Comes to Habits, There Are Four ...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

The New Year is approaching and this is a time when many of us think about making and breaking new habits. So today we’re bringing on one of the smartest people when it comes to habits, best-selling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen’s contention is that before you embark on a self-improvement project, it’s crucial to have some self-awareness about what kind of person you are. She has devised a framework called the Four Tendencies, which helps you identify your personality type in order to gain powerful insights into how you make or break habits. 

Rubin is a lawyer by training and began her career clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. Gretchen then went on to write a series of books that examine small and doable ways to boost our happiness in everyday life. These include: The Happiness Project, which spent two years on the bestseller list and sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide, and Better Than Before. We initially conducted the interview you’re about to hear back in 2017, when Gretchen released a book called The Four Tendencies. 

In this episode we talk about:

  • How and why Gretchen developed the Four Tendencies framework
  • How Gretchen’s framework can give each of us a recipe for successful habit change
  • Breaking down the Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or Rebels
  • How these Four Tendencies are an overlapping Venn diagram 
  • What “obliger rebellion” is and how to spot it in your relationships
  • The value of forming an accountability group
  • And why Gretchen sometimes calls herself a happiness bully  

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-99-rerun

Up next
Yesterday
How To Meditate When You're Freaking Out | Kaira Jewel Lingo
What to do when you're in the grip of grief, anxiety, or overwhelm. Our Teacher of the Month, Kaira Jewel Lingo, has some suggestions for finding your way through. Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel On Sunday, ... Show More
18m 28s
Aug 22
How To Handle Your Demons | Vinny Ferraro
We’re bringing you some of our favorite gems from the archives, as chosen by our staff. This week, we’re hearing from dharma teacher Vinny Ferraro, as chosen by our producer Eleanor Vasilli. Vinny explores the concept of “alignment” and how you can actually choose your own attitu ... Show More
19m 53s
Aug 20
Next Time You’re Suffering, Ask Yourself This Question | Caverly Morgan
The highest form of self compassion (is seeing there’s no self in the first place). Caverly Morgan is a meditation teacher who blends the original spirit of Zen with a modern nondual approach, drawing from her eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She's authored two ... Show More
1h 3m
Recommended Episodes
Jan 2021
Gretchen Rubin ON: How Understanding Your Habits Allows You to Thrive in Work, Love and Life
You love On Purpose because it inspires your life. Have you tried Jay’s Genius workshops and meditations to access even deeper well-being? Learn more at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius Gretchen is an “Upholder”. She views inner and outer expectations as helpful and ease to main ... Show More
1h 6m
Oct 2019
Gretchen Rubin: Happiness, Habits and Understanding Human Nature
Most of us have strong feelings about habits. We love the ones that help us be better and we hate the ones that hold us back. But have you ever thought about how habits affect our happiness? Today’s guest on The School of Greatness has thought a lot about this. Gretchen Rubin is ... Show More
50m 36s
Jan 2023
Rewiring Your Brain: The Science of Habits with Gretchen Rubin
Last month when I asked who you wanted us to interview for our habits series, 90% of you said, Gretchen Rubin. Today your wish comes true. For those not familiar with Gretchen, she is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature, e ... Show More
41m 41s
Mar 2015
Gretchen Rubin: How To Build Habits That Change Lives
Everything you've been told about building and breaking habits may well be wrong. Or, at the very least, missing a critical middle step.In this week's episode, we bust myths and share how to do it right (hint, there are 4 different approaches and if you choose wrong, you will fai ... Show More
1h 1m
Apr 2023
226: Gretchen Rubin on Happiness, Human Nature, & Activating Your Five Senses
Although there are numerous ways and strategies to find happiness, it's important to recognize that not every pattern or strategy we observe from others will necessarily work for us. In this episode, Aileen speaks with Gretchen Rubin, a best-selling author, podcaster, and speaker ... Show More
1 h
Feb 2020
Gretchen Rubin on Living Skillfully
Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. Gretchen is known for her ability to distill and convey complex ideas with humor and clarity in a way that’s accessible to a wide audience. She is the author of many b ... Show More
49m 6s
May 2023
Bonus! Hear an Excerpt from Gretchen Rubin’s New Book “Life in Five Senses.”
As a thank-you to “Happier with Gretchen Rubin” listeners, this bonus episode features an excerpt from the audiobook of Gretchen Rubin’s new book, “Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World.” Narrated by Gretchen Rubin.Get in touch: po ... Show More
12m 19s
Apr 2023
More Happier: How to Manage the Stress of Having a Book About to Hit the Shelves: Personal Mantras & Hacks
Because the book “Life in Five Senses” is just a few days away from being published, we talk about ways to deal with the anxiety of putting a big piece of work out into the world—personal mantras, hacks, and strategies.Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.comFollow on social media ... Show More
28m 27s
Jun 2023
Ep. 435: Start a New Habit on Vacation, Cultivate Everyday Luxuries, and Memorize Street Names
We discuss why it’s helpful to start a new habit while on vacation, and why takinga few minutes to memorize key street names can make life easier for years tocome. We also talk about why cultivating everyday luxuries can help us becomehappier and healthier, and we take a deep div ... Show More
25m 34s
May 2021
How Understanding Your Personality Will Make Your Life Better with Gretchen Rubin #181
Today I talk to one of the most thought-provoking and influential writers on the subjects of happiness, habits and human nature. Gretchen Rubin has sold over 3 million books worldwide and also hosts the Happier with Gretchen podcast. We begin the conversation discussing what happ ... Show More
2h 1m