The negative cycle creates gridlock with couples because it is all about protection. Protection of what? The protection of unmet needs. In this episode, George and Laurie help listeners get clearer on the needs and attachment longings that lie under the surface. Voicing our needs requires A LOT of vulnerability which is often when they aren’t met, they trigg ... Show More
Feb 2025
What Is A Negative Couples Cycle?
A negative couples cycle is a recurring pattern of interaction in which partners react to each other’s protective moves, escalating conflict rather than addressing the underlying emotions. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren illustrate how miscommunication and emotional defenses—such as cr ... Show More
45m 11s
Jul 2025
She Doesn't Want Your Vulnerability, She Wants This
Talking points: relationshipsSo many men fall into a very specific (and usually confusing) trap. They're asked to "be more vulnerable", they go way too far with it, and it ends up pushing the partner into the mother/caregiver/therapist role way too often.I've talked about this be ... Show More
14m 16s
May 2025
When Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made Explicit
Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though v ... Show More
56m 32s
Mar 2023
#60: 5 Reasons You're Not Getting Your Needs Met (& What to Do About It)
<p>In this episode, we're talking all about needs - specifically, looking at some common reasons why you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. It's easy to feel defeated and hurt when our needs are going unmet, but oftentimes there's far more that&a ... Show More
27m 35s
Aug 2025
544 - Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships by Seeking Security?
Today we're discussing our drive to seek security in relationships, especially as economic uncertainty increases, and how sometimes, that can turn around and bite us. We'll be talking about why we seek security in relationships, some paradoxes of security, and as always, some too ... Show More
58m 51s