logo
episode-header-image
Sep 2022
1h 4m

HATRED: a way to hide our secrets

Joseph Lee, Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano
About this episode

Hatred is a universal human emotion related to distancing and destroying. Hatred is anger, disgust, judgment, and contempt cemented into implacable permanence. Obsessive and inflating, hatred dupes us into feeling righteous and wrathful instead of small and wounded. Hating tricks us into projecting our disowned qualities onto an outer other, making the object of our hatred into an avatar for our own split-off instincts and desires. Our fixation fuses us in a darkly intimate way with “other,” the holder of a secret we are compelled to uncover, a truth we demand to rule. Hate hides the dread of discovering the depth of our own shadow—for it is self-hatred that we seek to encapsulate and eradicate. We can face our hatreds, let them inform us, and transform them into what is brighter and more alive.

Here’s the dream we analyze:

“I am walking and find a door that leads to a stairway. I am entranced by the stairs as they look like winding, ancient stone castle steps like in the movies. I enter and see that lining the walls up and down the stairs are cages - each cage contains a snake. As I walk down the dimly lit stairs, the snakes come alive and begin slithering, dancing, and reaching their heads up and out until a good third of each snake is out and getting closer to me. I am surprised to realize that the holes in the cages are big enough for the snakes to escape, but I am not afraid. I know the snakes will not escape completely or harm me, and I wonder why the snakes have cages at all. As I get to the bottom of the stairs, I am in a large room with books, jars, shelves, and tables. It is wonderous room, like Merlin’s workshop mixed with Dumbledore’s office. There is an older, tall man standing next to a younger woman, and they are looking at a book. I have interrupted them, they were not expecting me, but neither is startled. They both look at me with curiosity. I know I have nothing to fear but also don’t understand why I am there or where, exactly, I am. I am then standing next to them, and the young woman cries, “It has drawn blood! There is blood! Blood is drawn!” The man says nothing and calmly looks at me. I raise my hand and see a few drops of blood on my palm and know that I have been pricked by a needle. I didn’t feel the prick, and it does not hurt; I am surprised to see the blood. I suddenly know that the young woman is excited as the blood indicates that it’s her time to move on to the next level and that I am to take her place as this man’s apprentice. All of this knowledge washes over me as I look at the blood. I then become woozy, and my knees fail as I faint and fall gently to the floor.”

REFERENCES:

Robert J. Sternberg. The Psychology of Hate.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591471842/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_BMVXGVKJEAEW7H4DHGQS

Joshua Coleman. Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1529350824/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_QQAC0BW1X9177KHY07W2

GIVE US A HAND!

Please become our patron: https://www.patreon.com/ThisJungianLife

 RESOURCES:

Learn to Analyze your own Dreams: https://thisjungianlife.com/enroll/

Enroll in a Jungian Seminar and start your journey to becoming an analyst: https://www.cgjungphiladelphia.org/seminar.shtml

Up next
Jul 10
DISCOVERING A NEW ARCHETYPE: The Buddhabrot Fractal Bridging Math, Myth, and the Collective Unconscious
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DREAM WITH US, and we’ll teach you how to interpret them!The Buddhabrot pattern springs from a simple algorithm: you take thousands of starting points, run each one through the same formula over and over, and chart only those whose values grow without limit—these “divergent” ... Show More
1h 26m
Jul 3
The Handless Maiden: A Tale to Heal the Wounded Feminine
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DREAM WITH US, and we’ll teach you how to interpret them!⁠Everyone faces a moment when they are tempted to sacrifice their true self to chase wealth, approval, success, or security, but doing so strips away their strength and leaves them hollow. To reclaim their lost agency, ... Show More
1h 13m
Jun 26
Taming Your Inner Critic: Turn Self-Attack into Self-Awareness
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DREAM WITH US, and we’ll teach you how to interpret them!Our inner critic—that voice constantly tearing us down—can stem from difficult childhood experiences, negative cultural messages, or even powerful archetypal forces deep within us. While healthy self-assessment involve ... Show More
1h 19m
Recommended Episodes
Jan 2019
Episode 41 - Regret
Along with a our guest podcast Brazilian Jungian analyst Leticia Capriotti, we explored the psychological underpinnings of regret. We considered that sometimes regret can arise as a result of self-betrayal.  We link it to the unlived life that can haunt us and demand our attentio ... Show More
57m 56s
Sep 2019
Why Fear Can Be Magical
“Ninety-nine percent of the time when we use the word ‘can’t,’ it’s really a euphemism for ‘won’t,’” says entrepreneur Marie Forleo, the author of Everything Is Figureoutable. Forleo’s specialty is bridging the gap between thinking about doing something and doing it. She believes ... Show More
51m 22s
Jun 2024
S’aimer au-delà de ses blessures avec la psychiatre Catherine Bensaïd
Guila Clara Kessous reçoit dans Métamorphose Catherine Bensaïd, psychiatre, psychanalyste et auteure. Comment se détacher des blessures qui marquent nos vies ? Est-il possible de se libérer de ces moments qui nous rongent, parfois pendant des années ? Le rejet, l'abandon, l'humil ... Show More
45 m
Oct 2021
Let's talk about anger - IGTV
I want to chat about a topic we don’t talk about much - Anger.Anger can mess you up and make you feel out of control. All my childhood trauma caused me to build a hard outer shell, refuse to let anyone in, and constantly have my guard up. Does that sound familiar?But the shit tha ... Show More
25m 53s
Apr 2023
253 - Digging Deep: Uncovering Your Unconscious Motivations
Do you always act the way you want to? Do you struggle to accomplish what you set out to do? Do you find it challenging to make choices that are in line with what you think you want? Today I want to talk about learning to understand why often make choices and do things that don’t ... Show More
11m 44s
Oct 2023
Candid Confessions: The Vulnerable Profile That Found Her Man
Our hero Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it's our most accurate measure of courage. I've built my business on the tenants of vulnerability providing emotional safety for my clients and as a result, ... Show More
53m 6s
Oct 2020
#126 How to Win at Life Without Losing Yourself with Dr Pippa Grange
Today’s episode is all about fear and how it holds us back in all aspects of our life. My guest is psychologist, Dr Pippa Grange, who has been hailed by the media ‘the doctor who helped transform the England football team’. Pippa is also author of the compelling book, Fear Less: ... Show More
1h 57m
Feb 2024
E16: Whole lotta SEX — Healing Body Trauma, Sexual Agency, & Growing Beyond Judgement
Send us a Text Message.The labyrinth of personal healing is often clouded with the shame and secrecy of our deepest struggles. Embark with me, Tarek Ali, as I traverse the raw and intimate pathways of my own self-discovery, laying bare the battles with anxiety and the transformat ... Show More
1h 11m
Oct 2023
Doctor Gabor Mate: I Regret My Interview With Prince Harry! The Shocking Link Between Kindness & Illness!
Being nice is bad for your health, while being angry is healthy, Dr. Gabor Mate unpacks the inner depths that lie beneath the personality you show to the world. In this new episode Steven sits down again with world-renowned trauma and addiction expert, Dr. Gabor Mate. Dr. Gabor M ... Show More
1h 53m