logo
episode-header-image
Jul 2022
42m 41s

Help! Should I Leave Him or Double Down ...

LOVERS by shan
About this episode

Tee aka HiMyNamesTee Tee is in a 12-year on and off relationship with her first love and first sexual partner that she feels equal parts hope and despair towards. Should she stay in feeling as though she's with her soul mate and twin flame OR run in knowing that she's tried so hard for so long and still...

Follow Shan 

http://instagram.com/shanboody

Call in to the show to leave a voice note
‪(323) 375-4797
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Follow the guests on this episode 

 

Tee
Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/himynamestee

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/himynamesteee/

Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdrxr9s52oZCf78xOLa4R

 

Here is the exercise Tee and I did together:

 

Section One Framing - tell the story of why you should stay and why you should go

Section Two - tell me the things that make you love you. Things that make you a positive, motivating force within your own life:


1) Can you currently approach growth and your outlook on the future from a place of worthiness?

2) Who are you, at your current best? 


 

3) What parts of yourself do you want to protect at all cost?

 

4) What is your vision for your future?

5) What do you need to be happy in order to give yourself the best shot at making this vision a reality?

 

Section Three - answering the hard questions

1) If you had to sum up your relationship in one word, it would be?

2) Is this a familiar pattern?

3) When I think about the future of my relationship, I typically feel? 

4) Are you your optimal self when you’re with your partner? 

5) Do you feel appreciated by your partner?

6) In a dream world scenario, what’s the ideal relationship that you’d like to have with your partner?

7) In the real world, given what you know so far, what kind of relationship is possible, today

8) Have you tried hard enough in this relationship?

9) Should it be this much work?

10) If you had a son or daughter you deeply loved, would you want them to be in a relationship with someone like the person you are with right now?

11) How will my life change without this person?

12) How could my life change for the better with this person in it?

13) What haven’t I learned from this relationship?

14) If I could get an email from myself ten years from now, what advice might it have?

15) If this is all there is, will it be enough? 

16) How often do you fight with your partner?

18) Do you ever wish that you were in a relationship with someone else?

 

Section Four
I pulled those prompts from this research article https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550617722834

You can also find a table of the prompts here in this article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/201708/how-do-we-decide-whether-or-not-break


 

Up next
Today
S2 Ep127: What’s the Emotional Tax on Casual Sex? ft. Decisions Decisions
In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having ... Show More
52m 34s
Jul 2
S2 Ep126: Too Many of Us Are Living with High-Functioning Depression ft. Dr. Judith Joseph
What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression? In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate. They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of plea ... Show More
25m 20s
Jun 24
S2 Ep125: Kama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to Know ft. Seema Anand
What if the key to better sex isn’t new, but rooted in ancestral knowledge? In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller, mythologist, and ancient erotica expert Seema Anand to explore the rich, and yes, deeply sexy, history of sexual liberation, and why it's never really bee ... Show More
53m 52s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2024
634 Unhappy in Your Relationship? How to Know Whether to Stay or Go
Are you tired of trying to make things work with your partner, or feel they are not as invested as you are? Do you feel like you’ve grown apart in your relationship or feel more like roommates? Or do you wish you had black-and-white signs telling you to stay or go? If you feel to ... Show More
22m 38s
Jan 2023
#2 - My Relationship Anxiety Story: From “Do I love him enough?” to “He’s my person”
In this week’s episode I get much more detailed with my relationship anxiety journey: - the beliefs and experiences that led me to where I am today - leaving my ex and how I made that decision - my story with Nate - from “he’s amazing!” to “do I love him enough?” to “he’s my pers ... Show More
37m 22s
Sep 2023
how to LET GO OF RELATIONSHIPS that are no longer serving you
EP008: want to remind you that you can set boundaries, say no, exit toxic situations and STILL be a kind, loving person. It is not one or the other. We've all been in a toxic relationship whether it's within a friendship, a family dynamic, or a romantic relationship. Starting off ... Show More
31m 39s
Nov 2023
#44 - Will I Suffer With Relationship Anxiety/ROCD Forever? w/ Christine
Very grateful to bring you another conversation with a private coaching client of mine, Christine. These conversations are so important for me because I want to peel back the curtain of others who experience relationship anxiety/ROCD to show you that you’re not alone and that you ... Show More
51m 4s
Jan 2025
How to Move On When You Don't Want To ft. Madi Prewett Troutt
Have you ever been in a relationship that you knew wasn't right but didn't want to give up? In that moment it can be hard to get your head and your heart on the same page. In this episode, Madison Prewett Troutt shares the lessons she's learned from overcoming hear ... Show More
37m 6s
Jan 2025
#893 - Jillian Turecki - 9 Harsh Truths About How Relationships Work
Jillian Turecki is a relationship coach, teacher, writer and author.How do you create a thriving and loving relationship that truly lasts? While many may stumble into one by chance, building a deep and meaningful connection often requires more than luck. So what role does the inn ... Show More
1h 34m
Sep 2023
#37 - Is your Relationship Healthy? w/ Dr. Molly Burrets
Have you ever questioned if your relationship is healthy or healthy “enough”? In this conversation with Dr. Molly Burrets we explore: what it means to be in a healthy relationship how to parse out what advice to listen to online when it comes to healthy relationships — we hear so ... Show More
47m 38s
Dec 2024
Should You Wait for Your Partner to Get Their Life Together?
When you’re ambitious and driven, what do you do if your partner isn’t quite on the same path? This week, we’re diving into a listener’s story about dating since childhood and navigating a relationship where career goals and ambition are creating tension. 💡 What We’ll Cover: • H ... Show More
44m 46s
Aug 2024
256: "I've Fallen For Someone I Work With...But He's Married"
What do you do if you meet someone who makes you feel accepted, safe, happy, and you truly connect...but they're already in a relationship? And even worse, they may tell you that they are unhappy in their marriage and want to spend time more with you. Should you give them an ulti ... Show More
1h 3m
Feb 2025
Episode 285: Time is Currency
Alli and Melisa discuss questions you should ask yourself about your relationship...  If someone said, "You're just like your partner," would that feel like a compliment?Are you truly fulfilled by this relationship or just less lonely? Can you unapologetically be yourself? Are yo ... Show More
57m 43s