I love Jim Carrey. While mostly known for his off-the-wall physical comedy, he has a few serious roles in his film roster. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my favorite movies starring Jim Carrey. It's a story about a couple's breakup and the painful consequences that follow. Clementine, played by Kate Winslet, undergoes a procedure to erase Joel, played by Jim Carrey, from her memory, and he does the same in turn. However, this leads to some unexpected results. I watched this movie often during the early stages of recovery from brain damage from ECT. I think I was searching for a reflection of my new reality after losing old memories, and the ability to make new ones was wrecked. The film's choppy jump cuts and shuffled timelines felt true to my early recovery days. At that time, I constantly felt confused and struggled to make sense of my fragmented memories. I would go to places I'd been before but couldn't remember, talk to people I sensed I knew but couldn't place, and feel like something was missing but not know what place. Doctors refused to believe anything was wrong. I'd gone so long without talking to another injured ECT recipient, and doctors repeatedly told me ECT doesn’t cause permanent brain damage... I guess I needed to see a reflection of how distorted my world was after shock therapy after my ability to make new memories was wrecked. The idea of selectively erasing traumatic memories is interesting, but is it possible? There’s research on using Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) as a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD & PTSD), like in the movie, selectively erasing or reducing traumatic memories. Over the years, this topic has generated a lot of pop science buzz in the media, often citing Spotless Mind like I’m doing now. But I can speculate where the journalists can't because I’ve lived it. Many considering shock therapy says they don't care if their memories are erased from the treatment. I was one of those people. I wish I'd known more about memory before undergoing electroconvulsive therapy for supposed treatment-resistant depression (CPTSD and life-threatening undiagnosed medical conditions— all 100% treatable.) Memory is not a buffet you can pick and choose from. In a brain made up of mostly water, doctors can't control the electricity, let alone identify and target specific memories while leaving other memories and cognition intact. Cranial nerves involved in trauma responses are also at risk of damage in ways we're only beginning to understand. Trauma mixed with brain damage is a hell I could never have imagined. People like me desperately need comprehensive testing and rehabilitation for long-term sequelae of electrical injury from ECT. Learn how you can support all ECT patients https://www.change.org/p/standardize-... Blog post https://lifeafterect.com/can-ect-eras... Works Cited Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. Directed by Michel Gondry, performances by Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet. Focus Features, 2004. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/ Gifs https://giphy.com/ Music courtesy of : RYYZN MEMORIES ERASED https://hypeddit.com/track/3zzfl9 Links to articles cited https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T...