logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2022
19m 5s

#3: Q&A: On Dating & Anxious Attachment

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In this Q&A style episode, we're diving into questions from the audience around dating - and particularly, dating as an anxiously attached person. Some of the topics covered include how to regulate anxiety around dating, how to manage expectations and let go of the idea of "the one", how to know when to stop giving someone another chance, and what to do when they say they don't want a relationship.

Click here to join the waitlist for my signature program, Healing Anxious Attachment

Follow me on Instagram

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Up next
Oct 7
#209: 5 Green Flags in Early Dating
When you’re anxiously attached, it’s easy to fixate on red flags and warning signs — scanning for danger in the early stages of dating. But if you’re always looking for what’s wrong, you might miss the important signs that you’re with someone who’s actually safe, caring, and alig ... Show More
16m 2s
Sep 30
#208: Anxious Attachment & the Fear of Infidelity
Fear of infidelity can be one of the most overwhelming and destabilising experiences for someone with anxious attachment. Even when there’s no evidence a partner is being unfaithful, the possibility alone can trigger deep anxiety, hypervigilance, and constant worry.In this episod ... Show More
20m 50s
Sep 23
#207: Why You Feel Secure When You’re Single (But Anxious When You Start Dating)
If you’ve ever felt calm and confident when you’re single, only to find yourself spiralling into anxiety the moment you start dating, there’s a good reason for it.In this episode, I share why this shift happens — and why it’s completely normal if you have an anxious attachment st ... Show More
13m 3s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2024
#85 - How to Help Someone w/ Relationship Anxiety + ROCD
If you are the partner of someone with relationship anxiety, this episode is for you.   If you have relationship anxiety and want to be able to ask your partner for more intentional support, this episode is for you!   Thank you to the help of the You Love and You Learn community ... Show More
31m 16s
Jun 2025
301: Essential Insights for Understanding an Avoidant
Do you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners? Are you dating someone who pulls away just when things get close? When this happens, it’s easy to feel lost and wonder if the person you’re dating is avoidant or simply not that interested. In this episode, Matthew, Stephen ... Show More
57m 10s
Sep 2024
473: Dealing With Dating Anxiety
Dating can feel overwhelming and challenging for many people. Navigating dating anxiety and fears can be easier when you have the right tools and awareness. Listen to today's show to learn the tools to date better while managing your anxiety and fears. In this episode with Alista ... Show More
42m 48s
Feb 2025
148. How To Show Interest In Early Dating (Without Looking Desperate)
If showing interest in the person you're dating is scary, this episode will help! Showing interest when you're interested is key in developing a secure, healthy relationship in the early dating stage - even when things feel uncertain. I'm breaking down the appropriate, not-desper ... Show More
35m 17s
Sep 2024
How Trauma Makes It Hard to Recognize What’s Really Happening
When traumatized people date, it’s easy to detach from reality, and create elaborate constructs that explain why other people do what they do, and why we feel hurt by it – without having to actually admit what's really happening. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman w ... Show More
19m 21s
Aug 2024
#86 - The Realities of Healing Relationship Anxiety
Have you ever felt like you were not going “fast enough” in your journey to heal relationship anxiety or ROCD? Maybe you’ve seen other people share their wins and felt like you’re just not getting it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we compare to other people’s highlight reel ... Show More
21m 14s
Aug 7
I've Never Been In A Relationship Before
Ilana sits down with Allie—an almost 30-year-old who’s never officially had a boyfriend despite years of dating in New York City. Allie opens up about the emotional complexity behind her dating experience, from living with anxiety to navigating body image struggles and self-doubt ... Show More
52m 4s
Jan 2024
#52 - Leaning into Discomfort in Your Relationship w/ Robert James
In this episode, I sit down with Robert James, an OCD & anxiety coach who having spent years struggling with OCD, finally learned to overcome & now helps others to do the same. We talked all about what it means to “lean into discomfort” in our journey to navigate relationship OCD ... Show More
1h 2m