I will confess that there are certain terms that come from the therapy world that lead me to feel a bit put off. Boundaries. Enmeshment. Codependent to name a few.
You may know that I am a former therapist. And because of that, you may think that, at some point, I had an affinity for these terms.
But, I know firsthand, as someone who needed to learn better boundaries in my life, that there’s a certain level of shame that goes with discovering you resonate with these terms.
What ends up happening is that we label ourselves as having bad boundaries. And the word “bad” sticks with how we identify ourselves.
The language we use to talk about ourselves is important. Words assign meaning and also influence how we feel about having the potential to evolve, learn, and grow.
After learning about Human Design and how the energy Centers function, I prefer to shift the focus from talking about setting boundaries to talking about staying self-connected.
Staying self-connected means maintaining focus on your own wants and needs in the midst of absorbing energy from others that could overpower or disrupt that self-attunement.
As HSPs, we so often find ourselves just knowing or intuiting the wants and needs of others. And our own wants and needs can get pushed to the back burner and remain unspoken as a result.
Learning to stay self-connected is about staying aware of your wants and needs, and feeling assured to speak up about what’s important to you so that you protect your time, physical energy, and emotional energy.
At times in my life, when I’ve considered bringing up a hard topic of conversation, I would analyze the situation from every possible angle, trying to imagine how the other person would respond and what I would say back. The idea of speaking up felt really hard.
If you’ve been in this place, you’re not the only one.
I’m here to say, please don’t give up on saying what you need because it feels overwhelming.
When you put your life on autopilot without steering the course of it, saying yes and agreeing to whatever comes your way, absorbing the emotions and wants and needs of others at the expense of your own, giving what you don’t have to give, leads to frustration, anger and disappointment. It’s hard to thrive emotionally and physically.
It is possible to learn how to stay self-connected and to speak up for your wants and needs.
In this episode of the podcast, I’ll talk about just that. You will learn…
If you find yourself saying yes when you really mean no, my hope is that this episode will give you a new way to reframe setting boundaries and give yourself grace as you try a new and different way of relating to others.
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