logo
episode-header-image
May 2020
37m 54s

189: How to Crush Negative Thoughts: All...

David Burns, MD
About this episode

This is the second in a series of podcasts by David and Rhonda focusing on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions I first published in my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Today, we focus on All-or-Nothing Thinking. that's where you look at the world in black-or-white categories, as if shades of gray do not exist. For example, if you're not a complete success you may tell yourself that you're a complete failure.

All-or-Nothing Thinking is one of the most common cognitive distortions, and it causes or contributes to many common forms of emotional distress, including:

  • perfectionism
  • depression
  • Social anxiety--
    • performance anxiety
    • public speaking anxiety
    • shyness
  • hopelessness and suicidal urges
  • anger, relationship conflicts, and violent urges
  • habits and addictions
  • and more

However, this distortion can be also be helpful to you, and may reflect some of your core values. For example, your perfectionism

  • shows that you have high standards, and won't settle for second-best
  • may motivate you to work hard and do excellent work
  • prevents you from glossing over your failures and mistakes
  • intensifies your emotional life, which may feel like a glorious roller coaster ride, with intense ups (when you do well) and equally intense downs (when you fall short.)

So, before you can challenge a negative thought with this, or any distortion, you'll have to decide why in the world you'd want to do that, given all the benefits of your negative thoughts and feelings.

One of the possible down sides of All-or-Nothing Thinking is that it simply does not map onto reality. There is little in the universe that is 100% or 0%. Most of the time, or even all of the time, we're somewhere between 0% and !00%. For example, this podcast is not incredibly fantastic, or absolutely horrible. It is somewhere in-between, and will hopefully be of some value to you. While it clearly won't solve ALL of your problems, it may be a useful step forward.

We describe a number of example of All-or-Nothing Thinking, including a physician who was trying to diet and ended up binging on a half gallon of ice cream, and a suicidal young woman with incredibly severe depression who was involved in self-mutilation.

There are many ways of crushing the negative thoughts that contain All-or-Nothing Thinking, including Thinking in Shades of Gray. Although that might sound rather drab in comparison to the drama of All-or-Nothing Thinking, you may discover that the world becomes far more colorful when you learn to think in shades of gray!

In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the next distortion, Overgeneralization. David argues that Overgeneralization is arguably the cause of all depression and much anxiety, and that the first person to recognize and solve this dilemma was the Buddha, 2500 years ago. More on that topic next week!

David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD

 

Up next
Aug 18
462: The Perfectionism Webinar, Part 1 of 2
Defeat Perfectionism and Discover the Art of Self-Acceptance Part 1 of 2 This Is for Everyone--Shrinks AND the General Public! On Wednesday, July 9, 2025, Dr. Jill Levitt and I did a FREE, two-hour webinar on one of the most common causes of stress and feelings of inadequacy--per ... Show More
1h 5m
Aug 11
461: Ask David: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and More!
Ask David: How to Stop Giving a Crap Motivating a Procrastinator . . . and More The answers to today’s questions are brief and were written prior to the show. Listen to the podcast for a more in-depth discussion of each question. Today’s questions. 1. Chris has a question about P ... Show More
1h 5m
Aug 4
460: Ask David: The Fear of Happiness!
Ask David-- The Fear of Happiness! Although we had five questions for today’s Ask David episode, we spend the entire podcast on the first question from a man with an intense fear of happiness. He wrote: How can I use exposure to overcome my fear of happiness? Hi David, How would ... Show More
1h 9m
Recommended Episodes
Nov 2022
231 - A Model of Thinking
The stoics teach us that we have control over a few things - our thoughts, our choices, and our actions. In short, our will. So is there a way that we can get better with our thinking, and improve our outcomes? Today I want to talk about a model that can help us be more aware of ... Show More
10m 44s
Jun 2024
Your Perception Is Not Reality: Cognitive Distortions
Today, we're exploring how our thoughts can sometimes trick us into seeing the world in a negative light. We're uncovering cognitive distortions—those sneaky ways our minds twist reality based on past experiences and beliefs.Join me as we uncover common distortions like All or No ... Show More
19m 39s
Nov 2022
Analyze Thyself: The ABC Method And Thought Journals
• To rewrite our negative thought patterns, We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”• We can use the ABCDE acronym (activating event, belief, consequence, disputation, and new event) and explore the stories we’re telling in a thoug ... Show More
1h 1m
May 2021
59. How to Stop Negative Thoughts
Ever feel like your mind is spinning out of control? If you answered yes, today’s podcast is just for you! In this episode, the girls divulge some super usable, everyday steps and practices that will help you keep your head in a healthy space, no matter what you’re walking throug ... Show More
40m 2s
Nov 2023
Episode 373: Overcoming Overthinking
Hey everyone! Hope you're finding moments of peace amidst the chaos. Today's episode peels back the layers of anxiety that can really twist our brains into knots. We're responding to a heartfelt question from a listener who's finding themselves in a tangle of overthinking, especi ... Show More
31m 23s
Apr 2023
253 - Digging Deep: Uncovering Your Unconscious Motivations
Do you always act the way you want to? Do you struggle to accomplish what you set out to do? Do you find it challenging to make choices that are in line with what you think you want? Today I want to talk about learning to understand why often make choices and do things that don’t ... Show More
11m 44s
Oct 2022
Reframe Your Internal Dialogue And Take Control Of Your Self-Talk
• How you think creates your life; negativity poisons everything in your world. • Changing negativity requires a degree of metacognition (thinking about thinking) and a leap of faith to do something that hasn’t been done before. Anyone can change their thought patterns; it requir ... Show More
50m 5s
Apr 2022
156 - Friday Fix: How to Respond to Unhelpful Thoughts
Your brain tries to be helpful. It tells you about the dangers you should be looking out for so that you don’t get hurt. It also likes to remind you of past mistakes in an attempt to prevent you from repeating them. Of course, though, your brain doesn’t always get it right. It ma ... Show More
9m 42s
May 2024
533: How to Overcome Disempowering Thoughts
When negative thoughts creep into our minds, we have a choice to make. We can let things spiral into darkness or focus on thoughts that empower and energize us to overcome them. There is a way to deal with disempowering thoughts, and that’s what this episode is all about.  Today, ... Show More
30m 11s