What if the deepest rejection isn't one loud "no," but the quiet ones that pile up until you stop noticing them?
Alice is joined by Tiffany Yu — CEO and founder of Diversability, three-time TEDx speaker, and author of The Anti-Ableist Manifesto — who was nine years old when a car accident took her father's life and permanently paralyzed her arm. She grew up being picked last in gym class every single day, and internalized a quieter verdict underneath it: that she wouldn't get chosen in the rest of her life either. But what makes Tiffany fascinating isn't the résumé — it's the reframe underneath: that the deepest wounds don't come from one big rejection, they come from "chronic exclusion," the micro-exclusions that stack up until you seat yourself on the sidelines before anyone else can.
Tiffany's reframe: exclusion is rarely loud. It's the party you weren't invited to, the captions no one added, the comment asking if your hand "can be fixed" — one remark is fleeting, but at the scale of 7 million views it starts to rewire how you feel about your own body. Her way out wasn't toughening up; it was community. She traces how co-founding a Taiwanese American club at university gave her the template that she then rebuilt as Diversability, and how one member's adaptive climbing invite became the start of a "redemption journey" that now includes the USA Paraclimbing team, a half marathon, and a surfing lesson she took the day before recording.
In this episode they explore:
• "Chronic exclusion creates irreversible trauma" — the line from her 2018 TEDx talk that keeps finding people, and why micro-exclusions do more damage than any single "no"
• What a microaggression actually is — the subtle "I don't think of you as disabled" that quietly props up much bigger structural inequities
• The gym-class wound — being picked last every day, and sitting on "the sidelines of the gym and the sidelines of life"
• How a TikTok about her paralyzed arm hit 7 million views
• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, ADHD, and the research that a child can absorb 20,000 extra negative messages by age 10
• Assimilation as erasure — hiding her Taiwanese American identity, and how co-founding a culture club unlocked her courage
Connect with Tiffany Yu:
Website: https://www.tiffanyyu.com Book
(The Anti-Ableist Manifesto): https://www.tiffanyyu.com/book
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imtiffanyyu
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imtiffanyyu
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tiffanyayu
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/imtiffanyyu
Chapters:
00:00 "Chronic exclusion creates irreversible trauma"
00:57 The car accident at nine, and the gym class that became a core wound
03:29 What a microaggression really is
06:00 7 million views and "can it be fixed?" — comments that rewire self-image
08:25 RSD, ADHD, and 20,000 extra negative messages by age 10
09:11 Assuming friction everywhere — and being surprised when access is seamless
11:20 From the sidelines to the redemption journey — surfing, half marathons, paraclimbing
12:05 Assimilation, erasure, and the Taiwanese American club that started it all
15:00 The climbing wall, January 2016
16:48 Internalized ableism and the friction of just showing up
19:42 Searching a Facebook group for "surf"
21:10 The oxytocin of being in the room — why proximity reduces fear
22:57 Defining assimilation as erasure — not acknowledging what makes you different
25:02 Three things that made it easier
28:00 The message is bigger than me — the surgeon who added a mental-health provider
34:32 The 10-minute story vs. the one-sentence version
35:22 NATO — not attached to outcome — vulnerability vs. oversharing, and small wins
41:24 Creating your own opportunity — disability, hiring bias, and a "jungle gym" career
43:00 Getting fired, the "March 3rd anniversary," and the shame we don't talk about
47:43 Building community from nothing
51:33 Where to find Tiffany, the book, and Diversability