In this episode I talk with Ronda Bonfanti, an IFS client, memoirist, and self-described "IFS cheerleader," who reached out to me earlier this year to share her beautiful memoir, Talk to the Trees: From CPTSD to Loving Me.
Ronda has been on a healing journey for more than 25 years. She's done "all the therapies," read over 250 self-help books, and spent years trying to understand why she felt so broken inside, even though her life looked beautiful on the outside. When she found IFS, something finally clicked.
We explore:
Her early years in therapy and why CBT helped a little but never stuck
How discovering IFS gave her a whole new relationship with her inner world
Writing her memoir with the support of Frank Anderson and Lissa Rankin
The healing power of humor and why she sees it as medicine
Journaling as a doorway into parts work
What it means to write a letter to shame
Loneliness on the healing path, and her longing to build IFS-aligned community
Her dream to combine IFS and pickleball
She also reads one of my favorite chapters from her memoir — a hilarious, moving piece about her early days in therapy, banana splits, and her first meeting with Dr. Frank Anderson.
Ronda is one of those guests who reminds me why we do this work. Her story is tender, courageous, and full of hope. It's a perfect episode for a holiday week.
Learn more about Ronda here.
I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.
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