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Nov 11
50m 38s

“Whatever I Do Will Be Wrong!” - Pete’s ...

Tall or Nothing
About this episode

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, the gang are still living their best lives in sunny Portugal — but it’s not all cocktails and calm seas. Abbey spirals into her biggest dilemma yet: how on earth to plan her 40th birthday when every idea feels wrong? Between kitchen renovations, skipped parties, and Peter’s “whatever I do will be wrong” defeatism, tensions are high (and hilarious).


Ross chimes in with holiday dreams and more chaos ensues as they unpack why every marriage argument somehow ends with builders, bags, or birthday parties. Listeners write in with tales of Fitbit-fuelled competition, friendship ghosting, and family heartbreak — including one letter that has Abbey on the verge of tears.


Of course, there’s laughter too — from Peter’s golf obsession and dream bench, to Abbey’s life-changing fashion advice that proves every mum can still feel sensational. It’s classic Therapy Crouch: a mix of sunshine, sarcasm, and surprisingly emotional honesty from podcasters abroad.


00:22 – Back in sunny Portugal and feeling smug about it.

01:08 – The surprise reveal: the kids think they’re flying home… but they’re off to Universal Orlando!

02:38 – Flashback to Abbey’s secret pregnancy at Thorpe Park — and why Pete ended up as the bag holder.

04:10 – Abbey’s Weekly Whinge: the never-ending 40th birthday indecision and kitchen chaos.

05:24 – Peter admits, “Whatever I do will be wrong” — a brutally honest husband moment.

06:25 – Abbey declares, “You’re not invited to my 40th!” and jokes she wants an upgrade.

08:12 – The Kardashian kitchen dream and Pete’s sarcastic budget breakdown.

10:32 – Home life meltdown: Abbey rants about builders, skips, and endless renovation stress.

13:10 – The acorn apocalypse: squirrels, gardeners, and a ridiculous countryside conspiracy.

15:00 – The “high maintenance” debate turns into a surprisingly heartfelt love declaration.

16:45 – Abbey calls out Pete for his smartwatch laziness — then a listener’s Fitbit rivalry takes centre stage.

19:25 – A listener vents about organizing a group gift — and creating a “spreadsheet of resentment.”

21:20 – Pete reveals the bizarre golf tradition of buying everyone drinks when you get a hole-in-one.

23:46 – “The Bench Legacy”: Pete’s dream of having his name immortalised on the golf course.

26:10 – Abbey and Pete discuss fashion fails and why confidence beats trends every time.

35:20 – Abbey gives a pep talk to a listener stuck in a wardrobe rut — “Tell yourself you’re sensational!”

39:18 – Listener dilemma: discovering a friend has been replying to messages using ChatGPT.

45:00 – A touching letter from a stepmum losing connection with her grown-up stepkids — Abbey gets emotional.


Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 


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Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 


For more from Peter

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https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy


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