How do I handle jealousy in a monogamous...

This week, DB reflects on last week's fantastic conversation with Certified Sex Therapist Claire Perelman. Let's take a moment to really unpack jealousy and envy, no matter if you're ENM or monogamous. What does jealousy say about us -- and what does it not? There's a sense of shame around jealousy that we can move past using our emotional honesty and by naming what we're feeling. Plus: a vocab lesson on jealousy versus envy. They're different!

JEALOUSY SCRIPTS YOU CAN STEAL
When jealousy pops up mid-scroll:
“Hey love, I’m feeling a jealousy pang. I’m going to take 10 minutes to breathe and journal, then could we do a quick check-in about Friday’s plans? I think I need a clearer start/stop time so I can plan something for me.”

When you need reassurance without rules:
“I’m not asking you to stop seeing them. I’m asking for a reassurance ritual--a goodnight text and a Saturday morning debrief. That would help my nervous system a lot.”

When you want to celebrate your partner but still have feels:
“I’m happy you had a great date, and I’m noticing some jealousy in me. Could we carve 30 minutes tomorrow for us? I want to reconnect.”

Repair after a jealous blow-up:
“I got flooded and got snappy. I’m sorry. The story in my head was ‘I’m being replaced.’ Here’s what I’m going to try next time: pause, breathe, then ask for a check-in.”

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Season 12 of Sex Ed with DB is ALL ABOUT PLEASURE! Solo pleasure. Partnered pleasure. Orgasms. Porn. Queer joy. Kinks, sex toys, fantasies—you name it. We’re here to help you feel more informed, more empowered, and a whole lot more turned on to help YOU have the best sex.

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