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Aug 27
10m 58s

#277: Choosing Our Battles?

Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability
About this episode

Kim addresses the common parenting dilemma of whether to correct a child’s behavior or let it go. He gently challenges the popular idea of “choosing your battles,” suggesting that framing these moments as battles may not serve the relationship. Instead, he invites parents to see each behavior—no matter how small—as a moment to define family values and build connection. The key, he says, is not whether to correct, but when and how. Small corrections delivered calmly in the moment can prevent larger issues from forming. Kim emphasizes that if we ignore repeated missteps, they may accumulate into bigger breakdowns later. He suggests that a brief, gentle acknowledgment such as, “That’s not okay, we’ll talk about it later,” can hold a boundary while maintaining connection. These micro-moments, when handled thoughtfully, help children understand what is acceptable and create an atmosphere of mutual respect.

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