logo
episode-header-image
Yesterday
28m 30s

122: How Emotional Sobriety Has Changed ...

Kelly Brogan MD
About this episode

In this episode, I talk about how what we call love can actually be an addiction.


I share how I began questioning the way we label addiction as a disease and why abstinence models often keep people stuck. I look at how patterns of chaos, stimulation, and emotional highs and lows show up not just with substances but in love, work, and conflict. I talk about what the rat park studies and early attachment teach us about why we reach for these patterns, and why real intimacy can feel unbearable when our nervous system is wired for drama. I also share the four questions I use to examine any addictive habit so we can start finding what’s on the other side.


You’ll Learn:



  • The real reason intensity can feel safer than peace
  • What happens when your nervous system is addicted to chaos
  • How love addiction mimics substance abuse patterns
  • Why you might unconsciously choose partners who can’t meet your needs
  • The surprising link between childhood attachment wounds and romantic drama
  • What it feels like to reclaim your inner “little no” and trust your gut
  • How to identify the upside you’re secretly getting from addictive habits
  • The quiet damage of ignoring subtle inner signals
  • Why true sobriety goes far beyond quitting alcohol
  • A 4-step framework to examine your relationship with any addictive pattern


Timestamps:


[00:00] Introduction

[05:02] How addiction patterns mirror emotional avoidance

[07:12] The victim triangle and nervous system conditioning

[09:18] Love addiction and the fear of true intimacy

[11:58] Reclaiming neuroception and seeing reality clearly

[14:42] Taking yourself off the market to break patterns

[16:15] How drama and chaos feed the addiction cycle

[18:02] Four questions to uncover the roots of addictive behavior

[21:00] What quitting actually gives you beyond abstinence

[23:12] Learning to embrace stability and the liminal space


👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.


Resources Mentioned:


Rat Park Studies by Bruce K. Alexander | Research

The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff | Book


Find more from Kelly:


Instagram: @kellybroganmd

Website: kellybroganmd.com

Join Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.

Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here and join the companion program, Reclaimed, here.


Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.


Try out the cleanest grass-fed beef protein on the market here and get 15% off your order, or 30% off your first subscription!

Up next
Aug 12
121: Why You Shouldn't Send Your Kids To College | Hannah Maruyama
What if everything you believed about college was a lie?In this episode, I sit down with Hannah Maruyama of Degree Free, who, alongside her husband, has dedicated her life to helping young people reject the myth that college is the only path to success. She’s not just talking the ... Show More
1h 7m
Aug 5
120: The Top 3 Mistakes Most Parents Make When Raising Their Children | Dr. Tom Cowan
Learn more about Dr. Kelly Brogan's signature health protocol, Vital Mind Reset here.Get Kelly's Victimless Mothering masterclass here.What if everything you think about parenting is backwards?In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Tom Cowan, physician, author, Waldorf school con ... Show More
59m 11s
Jul 29
119: How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty (It Starts With Your Impulses)
Ask Kelly your burning questions in her monthly Vital Life Project membership.You’ve been gaslit into distrusting your own impulses—here’s how to take them back.In this episode, Kelly dives deep into one of the most powerful yet overlooked skills in personal growth: reclaiming ... Show More
15m 49s
Recommended Episodes
Feb 2025
212. Finance For College Students (Scholarships, Investing, Saving, AND Life Advice!) with Cherie Animashaun
College students or parents, friends of college students, if you're trying to graduate debt-free, or if you're trying to become financially literate, this is the episode for you! In this episode, I’m talking to teen activist and nonprofit founder, Cherie Animashaun, about all thi ... Show More
1 h
Nov 2024
Are You Chasing the Right School Counseling Goals?
In this episode of the 'School for School Counselors' podcast, host Steph Johnson discusses a major misstep she nearly made by trying to follow someone else's advice rather than staying true to her authentic style. She explores the unrealistic expectations placed o ... Show More
22m 33s
May 9
How to Create Huge Tax Savings Funding Your Kid’s College (& FIRE on Time!)
Paying for college is one of the biggest financial hurdles families face—even as you’re chasing or approaching FIRE. What’s the smartest way to save for higher education while also securing your financial future? Scott, Mindy, and Amberly are breaking it all down on today’s episo ... Show More
54m 8s
Apr 2023
624: How to Make Smarter Investments in Your Learning, with Jill Schlesinger
Jill Schlesinger: The Great Money Reset Jill Schlesinger is an Emmy Award winning Business Analyst for CBS News. She appears on CBS radio and television stations nationwide covering the economy, markets, investing and anything else with a dollar sign. Jill is the host of the Jill ... Show More
40m 6s
Feb 2025
The Money Expert: “If I Was Broke Today, This Is EXACTLY What I’d Do To Become Debt-Free” | Anthony O’Neal
I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person! Get my new book Make Money Easy here!Financial freedom begins with taking control of your money story, not your credit score. In this transformative conversation, bestselling author Anthony O'Neal shatters conven ... Show More
53m 27s
Jul 21
Is Self-Help Making You Miserable?
Forrest and Dr. Rick discuss what's really wrong with the self-help industry, going beyond the obvious pseudoscience and snake oil to examine deeper structural issues. They explore the industry's mixed-bag focus on individual responsibility, the risks of turning healing into a ne ... Show More
1h 26m
Mar 2024
Personal Finance For Geniuses w/ Adam Nash #797
… literally, we’re discussing why some of the brightest minds at Stanford University need just as much instruction for their money as the typical American. At such a competitive school, with one of the lowest acceptance rates, you’d think those students have everything figured ou ... Show More
59m 7s
Oct 2024
Why You Should Resist Institutions for the Sake of Your Children | Ep 56
Most of us want the best for our children, but what if the very institutions we trust are actually steering our kids in the wrong direction? In this episode, Dr. Shefali, a renowned Conscious Parenting Expert and Bestselling Author gets real about how we can break away from the p ... Show More
51m 46s
Nov 2024
246 | What I Would Tell My Younger Self: Breaking Free From What Your Life "Should" Look Like & Creating an Authentic Life That You Actually Love (ft: Ashley McDonald)
Today's episode is for the woman who has been feeling unfulfilled chasing what the world has been telling her to chase & follow. The job. The promotion. The big house. The income goal. Ash is a phenomenal woman & is a beautiful example of what it means to be willing to questi ... Show More
38m 44s
Aug 7
787. Why Being “Good” Is Hurting You: How To Choose Yourself + Be Free
In this episode, Lindsey welcomes bestselling author Amber Rae for a soul-baring convo about breaking free from the cages we build for ourselves—yes, even the beautiful ones. Get ready for real talk on self-abandonment, “good girl” programming, and honoring your deepest desires. ... Show More
1h 4m