logo
episode-header-image
Aug 6
1h 19m

Ep 404 - Derek

Emma and Fin
About this episode

If you were thinking of skipping this one, consider rethinking that...

Derek first learned about polyamory from one of the original writings on the subject in Green Egg Magazine back in 1990 (see link in show notes below)... He was in his early twenties and showed it to his college girlfriend and they sort of jumped right in! They explored non-monogamy together for a few years before parting ways and Derek found himself "scared back into monogamy" for many years.

Fast-forward just a couple years and Derek gets married in 2015... When he met his wife, Kay, a few years prior he brought up the idea of non-monogamy but she wasn't interested. However, she brought the idea back to him in 2016 and they decided to open their relationship for about a year before starting a family.

When their son was about three they decided to open up again and during the time they had closed their partnership Kay had come out to him as queer. Then, around 2021 Kay came out to Derek as a lesbian.

Today, Derek and Kay are nesting co-parents and are rebuilding their friendship. Derek also has a girlfriend of about 18 months who lives nearby and describes himself as ambiamorous... Comfortable with both monogamy and non-monogamy.

Join us today as Derek shares his incredibly powerful and beautiful story.

Check out the full show notes here.

Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt!

$10 Off - Online STI Testing

Up next
Yesterday
Ep 406 - Courtney + Derek
Courtney and Derek were both on the show separately over the past two weeks and today we're delighted to bring them on together to tell their very own love story! Both of their individual stories are incredible and we definitely recommend listening to them but you will NOT be los ... Show More
1h 52m
Aug 13
Ep 405 - Courtney
Courtney just turned 50 and has been exploring polyamory and non-monogamy for the last three years or so... However, her story begins long before she and her husband of 16 years opened their relationship in 2022. Today, Courtney takes us all the way back to the first time she had ... Show More
1h 30m
Jul 30
Ep 403 - Marla
Marla has been exploring and practicing non-monogamy for about 20 years after learning about it during their first year of college. After getting out of their last monogamous relationship early in their college experience, Marla fell in love with their best friend and never reall ... Show More
1h 23m
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2024
EP399 - The Love Prescription: Intimacy for Your Heart & Body
Welcome to episode 399 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Veronica Cisneros. In this conversation, we explore personal anecdotes from both our marriages, looking at the dynamics of long-term relationships, and share tips for maintaining a strong, pa ... Show More
42m 18s
Oct 2024
Ep 83: What It Really Takes for a Relationship to Last with David Grutman, Isabela Grutman and Noah Tepperberg
In this week's episode, Melissa sits down with her husband, Noah, and their dear friends, Dave and Isabela Grutman, for a fun, candid conversation. Noah and Dave’s friendship goes back over 20 years, with both of them acting as each other's advisors in the hospitality industry, a ... Show More
1h 7m
Jul 2024
Ep 79: Learning to love each other better
How do you love your partner better?  Meg and Jacob O'Neill dive into why knowing each other's love language isn't enough. They share how staying curious about each other's needs and desires creates a foundation for a strong, long-lasting relationship filled w ... Show More
1h 9m
Jan 2025
512 - Before, During, and After Opening Up Your Relationship
Today we're going back to some polyamory 101 basics and talking about opening up previously monogamous relationships. We'll be talking about some helpful things to consider before opening up your relationship, what to do during the critical period where things are shifting, and h ... Show More
1h 1m
Nov 2023
Ever Deepening in Love Through Any Weather with Sofia Sundari and Oliver Villwock
This was delicious. I was delighted by Sofia's return to the show with her beloved Oliver.  We began with a love story of how they met and how each of them had done enough inner work to be sovereign souls meeting in a more clear, aligned place than past relationships. They went o ... Show More
1h 3m
Nov 2024
Dr. Emily Jamea | HFYH #104
In this episode of 'Hot for Your Health,' Dr. Vonda Wright Dr. Vonda Wright sits down with Dr. Emily Jamea, a renowned sex and relationship therapist with over 15 years of experience helping people cultivate connection and passion. Dr. Jamea’s debut book, Anatomy of Desire: Five ... Show More
45m 29s
Sep 2024
362: Kimmy Kimm: Overcoming A Strict Upbringing & Embracing Her Sexuality
Kimmy Kimm grew up struggling to fit in as one of few Asian Americans in her small town in Georgia. Now, she is thriving in the cosmopolitan LA as a star on the rise with multiple AVN nominations under her belt. This episode reveals Kimmy’s whirlwind journey into the industry, an ... Show More
1h 2m
Jun 2024
Sami & Andrew Spalter’s Love Story Part I: When You Know, You Know!
In this special episode of Transform, host Sami Spalter sits down with her “biggest blessing” — her husband, Andrew Spalter, for part one of their love story and transformative journey together.From a detailed play-by-play of how they met to their whirlwind first dates (we’re tal ... Show More
1 h
Nov 2024
#24 - Why You Keep Attracting The SAME Partner In Every Relationship
In this raw and deeply personal episode of Finding The One, we’re pulling back the curtain on one of the most transformative weeks in our marriage. From navigating parenting struggles to rediscovering our balance of masculine and feminine energy, we share the challenges and break ... Show More
44m 38s
Nov 2024
Why Every Great Love Story Needs Conflict: Lessons From Powerful Couples | Ep 58
Intimacy can be transformative, but what happens when we make it sacred? This episode dives into the raw, transformative power of sacred sexuality through the stories of three couples who’ve been through it all—breakups, reunions, and those messy, beautiful moments that define a ... Show More
1h 20m