Is it normal for intimacy to feel like another item on your to-do list? You love your partner, but between parenting, exhaustion, and unspoken resentment… desire can fade.
In this episode, we're unpacking why intimacy feels like an obligation — and how to shift the emotional and physical energy in your marriage so that you both actually want it again.
We share real stories, emotional dynamics, and practical shifts that help couples go from feeling like roommates to rekindling passion — even in the busiest seasons of life.
Topics we cover in this episode:
-Emotional disconnection vs desire
-Why frequency isn’t the real issue
-How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy
-Shifting from “obligation” to “wanting” again
Relationship resources:
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Episode timestamps:
00:00 – The real reason intimacy feels like a chore
00:28 – A typical day that drains your connection
01:28 – Intimacy isn’t just about frequency
02:08 – Emotional & physical disconnection = exhaustion
03:36 – Intimacy should fuel your life, not feel like an obligation
05:12 – What makes marriage different from other relationships
06:07 – Why passion fades (and how to bring it back)
07:06 – From obligatory intimacy to real desire
08:02 – The role of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion
10:17 – Are you ignoring intimacy too long?
11:03 – Hormones, life seasons & libido shifts
12:10 – How unresolved tension blocks intimacy
13:00 – Top 5 blocks to intimacy (from our survey)
14:04 – Is intimacy actually enjoyable for both of you?
15:09 – Why honest intimacy check-ins matter
15:48 – Emotional tone shift #1: warmth, eye contact & presence
17:00 – Emotional coldness kills desire
19:00 – Micro habits that warm up emotional intimacy
20:08 – Shift #2: Physical touch outside the bedroom
21:36 – Shift #3: Initiation & anticipation matter
23:35 – Why women must also participate in creating desire
25:06 – Dating energy vs marriage complacency
26:35 – Would your dating self get a “yes” today?
27:53 – Shift #4: Intimacy starts outside the bedroom
29:19 – Check-ins and parenting stress affect desire too
30:12 – The power of fun and play in rekindling intimacy
31:27 – Relaxation and play spark openness
32:18 – Why our “Best of Us” Challenge is perfect for this
33:03 – Intimacy should be enjoyable — not expected
33:35 – Stop forcing frequency. Focus on connection instead.
34:13 – Subscribe + get ready for our upcoming Q&A episode