logo
episode-header-image
Jul 22
10m 1s

Growing Pains of Becoming Securely Attac...

Jessica Da Silva, LMFT
About this episode

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about the growing pains of becoming securely attached.⁣

It’s not just sunshine and inner peace—real healing requires honesty, self-responsibility, and often, some very uncomfortable shifts.

Whether it’s walking away from misaligned connections, holding firmer boundaries, or realizing that peace is better than intensity… becoming secure means learning to trust yourself, even when it’s hard.⁣

If you’ve been wondering why this healing journey feels so tough sometimes—this episode is for you. You’re not broken, you’re growing 💛


*Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

Up next
Jul 31
Thriving at Work Struggling in Love With Carly Ann
Why is it that ambitious, successful women can thrive in their careers but feel lost in love?In this episode, Attachment Therapist and Coach Carly Ann joins me to explore the emotional disconnect that many high-achieving women experience in relationships.We dive into:How codepend ... Show More
44m 3s
Jul 15
How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies
We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence becomes a substitute for unmet em ... Show More
8m 19s
Jul 9
How Anxious Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies
What if some of your anxious attachment behaviors are actually rooted in…selfishness? Not because you don’t care—but because fear can make everything feel urgent and all about you.In this episode, I share my own hard truths, the rigid expectations I used to set, and how healing s ... Show More
9m 14s
Recommended Episodes
May 28
Uncomfortable Truths about HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT
Healing anxious attachment brings so much more security, ease, and confidence into our lives - but let’s be honest: it’s not always easy. It often requires us to sit with discomfort, challenge deeply held beliefs, and face the parts of ourselves we've long avoided.In this episode ... Show More
51m 7s
Feb 2025
Tuesday Truth: Breaking Free from Rigidity – How to Embrace Flexibility and Deepen Relationships
Are You Stuck in Black-and-White Thinking? Let’s Talk About It.If you struggle with intense emotions, fear of abandonment, or difficulty navigating relationships, you might also feel trapped in rigid thinking patterns—the kind that say, “If they really loved me, they wouldn’t hav ... Show More
37m 18s
Dec 2023
Q&A: Healing From Narcissism, Healing From Betrayal, Learning to Trust Yourself
In this community Q&A round, I answer some very common burning questions and also controversial topics! "How do I begin to heal from the narc and move on for good and how do I start with healing my childhood to ensure I stay away even though we have a child?" "How to heal and rec ... Show More
16m 47s
Feb 2025
Tuesday Truth: A Message of Hope & Encouragement for Those with BPD
Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—intense emotions, deep fears of abandonment, and struggles with relationships. But healing is possible. In this episode, we’re talking about hope, personal growth, and the journey to develo ... Show More
8m 58s
Jul 9
Trauma Expert Reveals WHY You Keep Attracting the Same Pain (Caroline Middelsdorf)
What if your triggers weren’t the problem... but the doorway?In this episode, we unpack the layers of trauma that shape our reality: emotional wounds, parent dynamics, trust issues, physical pain, and more. Whether you think you’ve been through trauma or not, this conversation wi ... Show More
49m 16s
May 20
197. Overgiving In Friendships? It's Time To Heal Your "I Care More" Wound
If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I always care more?”—this episode is for you. Alissa Boyer unpacks the deep emotional pattern many highly sensitive people experience in friendships: the “I care more” wound. When you’re constantly overgiving, anticipating everyone’s needs, and doi ... Show More
18m 35s
May 9
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment & Depression: Are They Correlated?
14-Day All-Access Trial: Transform Your Life with Expert-Led Mental Health & Personal Growth Programs https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/mha-month?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=mha-month&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast Is there a hidden link between dismissive avoid ... Show More
11m 30s
Jun 13
EP 0094 - Sitting With Uncomfortable Feelings
Book a Free Coaching Session https://joeryan.com. Empowering Individuals To Break Free From Childhood Programming, Emotional Paralysis, and Family System Roles. This is not traditional talk therapy. Inner Work Coaching is a raw, real, personalized experience.--Understanding and H ... Show More
21m 44s
Nov 2024
403: Healing From Religious Trauma & Reconnecting With Your Feminine Energy With Jordan Laurelle
Plus, Practical Steps for Rapid Manifestation Oooooh this is a spicy conversation that is sure to give you the drive, motivation, and FIRE to finish this year out STRONG! Monica talks about this often, that there’s no “throwing in the towel” this time of year because sooo much is ... Show More
52m 7s
Mar 2025
#180: 5 Hard Truths About Healing Anxious Attachment
Healing anxious attachment is a life-changing journey — but it’s not always easy. While moving toward secure attachment can bring more ease, confidence, and healthier relationships, it also requires confronting some uncomfortable truths along the way. In this episode, we’re unpac ... Show More
22m 39s