logo
episode-header-image
Jul 15
50m 9s

117: The Truth About Marriage, Real Love...

Kelly Brogan MD
About this episode

Check out the replay of my masterclass Reclaimed Relationship here.


Listen to this related episode, Reclamation of Courtship here.


"If you're looking for love, don't get married."


That’s just one of the many paradigm-shifting perspectives from today’s guest, Rabbi Manis Friedman—author, philosopher, and renowned lecturer on the spiritual and psychological architecture of relationships. Rabbi Friedman is one of the foremost voices challenging modern assumptions about love, marriage, intimacy, and gender roles—and his take is anything but conventional.


In this provocative episode, Kelly and Rabbi Friedman deconstruct the myths of modern romance—from why marriage shouldn’t be “for love,” to how women can actually identify a husband, not just another man. They dive deep into the nature of intimacy, the lost art of commitment, why sex should happen with the lights off, and what it truly means to belong to someone. Whether you're in the dating pool, rethinking your current relationship, or seeking to reclaim reverence for the sacred masculine and feminine, this episode will challenge you, awaken you, and offer a radically honest roadmap to relational clarity.


You’ll Learn:


  • How “lights-off” intimacy activates deeper soul connection
  • Why dating for love sabotages true compatibility
  • How to recognize the man who makes you feel like a wife
  • What long-term marriages reveal about emotional belonging
  • Why conditional love weakens relational stability
  • How the matchmaker model protects your heart and accelerates clarity
  • What sexual objectification obscures about authentic connection
  • How to exit dating dynamics without emotional wreckage
  • How performance-focused sex disconnects you from real intimacy


Timestamps:


[00:00] Introduction

[02:11] Why sexual intimacy should happen with the lights off

[04:08] Why marriage is the highest form of imitating God

[06:13] Why humans are not content just being human

[07:38] Why marriage must be between a man and a woman

[08:20] The danger of seeking love instead of a person

[09:16] What long marriages reveal about true belonging

[10:02] The Fiddler on the Roof test of love

[11:17] Love as a byproduct, not the goal

[13:05] How marriage eliminates aloneness

[14:51] The difference between roommates and real intimacy

[15:27] Why intimacy requires turning off the lights

[16:33] How sensory stillness deepens connection

[18:03] Why performance ruins intimacy

[19:47] The myth of unconditional love

[20:57] The danger of sexual liberation for women

[22:06] How dating replaced commitment

[23:44] Marriage as reunion, not just union

[25:02] Why the best dates make the worst husbands

[26:17] Why multi-year relationships are emotional torture

[27:52] Why women often don’t truly choose their husbands

[28:26] The role of chemistry in real compatibility

[29:34] What it means to feel like a wife

[30:06] Why dating should be selfish and strategic

[31:57] Why giving a breakup reason is cruel

[32:35] Why women should not initiate marriage

[33:54] How men get emasculated before the wedding

[35:09] Why women need men to lead

[36:02] How matchmaking protects your heart

[37:58] Why polite dating causes emotional confusion

[39:54] Dating as emotionally safer than shopping

[40:57] Why respect between spouses heals families

[42:44] Why kids need clear parental structure

[44:17] Why grandma’s way might’ve been wiser

[45:29] What real intimacy looks like in the bedroom


Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.


You can connect with Rabbi Friedman and his work through his website here.


Follow Rabbi Friedman on Instagram, Facebook, X, YouTube, and TikTok.


Find more from Kelly:


Instagram: @kellybroganmd

Website: kellybroganmd.com

Join Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.

Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here and join the companion program, Reclaimed, here.


Go to the Juvent Store and use code KELLY300 at checkout to get $300 off your purchase.

Up next
Aug 19
122: How Emotional Sobriety Has Changed My Life (And Could Change Yours Too)
In this episode, I talk about how what we call love can actually be an addiction.I share how I began questioning the way we label addiction as a disease and why abstinence models often keep people stuck. I look at how patterns of chaos, stimulation, and emotional highs and lows s ... Show More
28m 30s
Aug 12
121: Why You Shouldn't Send Your Kids To College | Hannah Maruyama
What if everything you believed about college was a lie?In this episode, I sit down with Hannah Maruyama of Degree Free, who, alongside her husband, has dedicated her life to helping young people reject the myth that college is the only path to success. She’s not just talking the ... Show More
1h 7m
Aug 5
120: The Top 3 Mistakes Most Parents Make When Raising Their Children | Dr. Tom Cowan
Learn more about Dr. Kelly Brogan's signature health protocol, Vital Mind Reset here.Get Kelly's Victimless Mothering masterclass here.What if everything you think about parenting is backwards?In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Tom Cowan, physician, author, Waldorf school con ... Show More
59m 11s
Recommended Episodes
Feb 2025
212. Finance For College Students (Scholarships, Investing, Saving, AND Life Advice!) with Cherie Animashaun
College students or parents, friends of college students, if you're trying to graduate debt-free, or if you're trying to become financially literate, this is the episode for you! In this episode, I’m talking to teen activist and nonprofit founder, Cherie Animashaun, about all thi ... Show More
1 h
Nov 2024
Are You Chasing the Right School Counseling Goals?
In this episode of the 'School for School Counselors' podcast, host Steph Johnson discusses a major misstep she nearly made by trying to follow someone else's advice rather than staying true to her authentic style. She explores the unrealistic expectations placed o ... Show More
22m 33s
May 9
How to Create Huge Tax Savings Funding Your Kid’s College (& FIRE on Time!)
Paying for college is one of the biggest financial hurdles families face—even as you’re chasing or approaching FIRE. What’s the smartest way to save for higher education while also securing your financial future? Scott, Mindy, and Amberly are breaking it all down on today’s episo ... Show More
54m 8s
Apr 2023
624: How to Make Smarter Investments in Your Learning, with Jill Schlesinger
Jill Schlesinger: The Great Money Reset Jill Schlesinger is an Emmy Award winning Business Analyst for CBS News. She appears on CBS radio and television stations nationwide covering the economy, markets, investing and anything else with a dollar sign. Jill is the host of the Jill ... Show More
40m 6s
Feb 2025
The Money Expert: “If I Was Broke Today, This Is EXACTLY What I’d Do To Become Debt-Free” | Anthony O’Neal
I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person! Get my new book Make Money Easy here!Financial freedom begins with taking control of your money story, not your credit score. In this transformative conversation, bestselling author Anthony O'Neal shatters conven ... Show More
53m 27s
Jul 21
Is Self-Help Making You Miserable?
Forrest and Dr. Rick discuss what's really wrong with the self-help industry, going beyond the obvious pseudoscience and snake oil to examine deeper structural issues. They explore the industry's mixed-bag focus on individual responsibility, the risks of turning healing into a ne ... Show More
1h 26m
Mar 2024
Personal Finance For Geniuses w/ Adam Nash #797
… literally, we’re discussing why some of the brightest minds at Stanford University need just as much instruction for their money as the typical American. At such a competitive school, with one of the lowest acceptance rates, you’d think those students have everything figured ou ... Show More
59m 7s
Oct 2024
Why You Should Resist Institutions for the Sake of Your Children | Ep 56
Most of us want the best for our children, but what if the very institutions we trust are actually steering our kids in the wrong direction? In this episode, Dr. Shefali, a renowned Conscious Parenting Expert and Bestselling Author gets real about how we can break away from the p ... Show More
51m 46s
Nov 2024
246 | What I Would Tell My Younger Self: Breaking Free From What Your Life "Should" Look Like & Creating an Authentic Life That You Actually Love (ft: Ashley McDonald)
Today's episode is for the woman who has been feeling unfulfilled chasing what the world has been telling her to chase & follow. The job. The promotion. The big house. The income goal. Ash is a phenomenal woman & is a beautiful example of what it means to be willing to questi ... Show More
38m 44s
Aug 7
787. Why Being “Good” Is Hurting You: How To Choose Yourself + Be Free
In this episode, Lindsey welcomes bestselling author Amber Rae for a soul-baring convo about breaking free from the cages we build for ourselves—yes, even the beautiful ones. Get ready for real talk on self-abandonment, “good girl” programming, and honoring your deepest desires. ... Show More
1h 4m