“Obedience” in marriage is a loaded word—what does it really mean? Are women expected to submit like servants? Is Christian marriage inherently unequal? Or is there something deeper, more beautiful, and profoundly mutual at play?
Today I’m joined by Mary Stanford, who has spent her career unpacking this very paradox. How can a woman “submit” as described in Ephesians 5 and still be a full, free, and equal partner in marriage?
Mary dives into the God-given differences between men and women—how our bodies and dispositions reflect distinct, complementary gifts—and how this complementarity can lead to deep unity and even fruitfulness, both literally and spiritually.
This topic isn’t without controversy. The line between holy submission and enabling harmful dynamics is razor thin. Join the conversation in the comments and help us wrestle with one of the most misunderstood teachings in Scripture.
Obedience Paradox book: https://www.amazon.com/Obedience-Paradox-Finding-Freedom-Marriage/dp/1681926954
Mary's faculty website: https://www.christendom.edu/academics/undergraduate-faculty/mary-stanford/
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:06:39 - Few people have parents as model relationships
00:10:40 - Good Ranchers
00:11:52 - Key successes in Mary’s parent’s marriage
00:19:04 - What did fighting and resolution look like?
00:23:11 - EveryLife
00:24:11 - What is the Obedience Paradox?
00:32:26 - Man as an instrument
00:36:22 - We Heart Nutrition
00:37:20 - What does submission mean?
00:51:01 - The temptation for women
00:54:30 - What are women’s fallen traits?
01:08:38 - Do’s/Don’ts of Biblical Submission
01:27:13 - Final thoughts