In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the profound shifts that occur as we heal—both within ourselves and in our relationships. She delves into the challenges of evolving while being in partnerships, the difficulty of letting go when growth outpaces connection, and the natural distance that can emerge between those on different healing journeys.
Sarah also answers listener questions about navigating major life transitions. From unfulfilling marriages and moving forward when a partner is unwilling to grow, to forgiveness and releasing resentment following a betrayal, these questions spark a powerful conversation about trauma, self-protection, and reclaiming life after pain.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 Introduction
00:15 Processing Endings
03:26 Internal Safety and Connectivity
06:42 Unwritten Contracts and Change in Our Relationships
09:59 Healing Decreases Our Toleration for Suffering
12:15 Giving Ourselves the Things We Never Got
13:21 Healing Invites Space for Change
18:58 Meeting New Parts of Ourselves
28:14 Leaving A Stagnant Relationship
32:13 Navigating Betrayal and Resentment
36:41 Forgiveness and Resolving Past Trauma
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Important Keywords:
Resentment – Resentment often signals unmet needs or unprocessed emotions. Nervous system regulation helps in addressing these feelings by discharging the underlying dysregulation.
Forgiveness – True forgiveness can only happen when a person has processed the appropriate response and emotions related to their trauma, by accessing what’s called healthy aggression.
Relational Shifts in Healing – As healing progresses, people may feel disconnected from past relationships, social circles, or roles. This is a natural part of transformation, signaling new growth and self-awareness.
Somatic Experiencing – Created by Dr. Peter Levine, this therapeutic modality uses body awareness, movement, and nervous system regulation to release and resolve stored trauma. By building capacity to be in our embodied experience, we can teach our nervous system how to pendulate, resulting in the discharge of stored trauma and overall regulation of the nervous system.