logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2025
42m 39s

Episode 379: Life Is Too Short For Bad S...

DR. JUSTIN LEHMILLER
About this episode

Nothing makes us lose desire for sex faster than having bad sex. Indeed, many cases of low sexual desire are simply due to people having sex that isn’t worth having. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the three main types of bad sex, what it means to have good sex, and how to stop having bad sex.

Today, we’re revisiting a fantastic conversation I had with Dr. Kelly Casperson back in episode 128. Kelly is a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her book and podcast, both of which are titled, You Are Not Broken.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

  • What are the three main kinds of bad sex?
  • How can we stop thinking of sex as something we’re obligated to do?
  • Why is it bad idea to think of sex as a bargaining tool?
  • What kind of sex should we be aiming for?
  • How can we get closer to having good (or “good enough”) sex?

You can check out Kelly’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on FacebookTwitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on AppleSpotifyGoogle, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Up next
Aug 22
Episode 425: What Determines Our Sexual Orientation?
Why are some people straight while others are gay or bisexual? What determines our sexual orientation anyway? Today, we’re going to be diving into what we’ve learned about the biological origins of our sexuality from decades of scientific research. As you’ll see, there’s not a si ... Show More
34m 48s
Aug 19
Episode 424: Are Humans Made To Be Monogamous?
Are human beings made for monogamy or non-monogamy? This is a popular subject of debate. While some argue that humans evolved for monogamy in order to ensure parental investment in our offspring, others argue that humans evolved to be non-monogamous because it increases the odds ... Show More
35m 29s
Aug 15
Episode 423: The Hidden Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is one of the most common sexual difficulties that men encounter, and it can be very distressing. But while ED is highly treatable, we really need to understand what causes it in the first place in order to treat it most effectively. In today’s show, we’re go ... Show More
29m 21s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2019
36 BDSM is Chic (Mistress Couple & Rachel Sennott)
This week we are talking BDSM! Everything from being a Sub, Dom--to both, to catching a whip with your genitals and exploring your sexual fantasies.  Remy welcomes NYC stand-up comedian Rachel Sennott to learn about BDSM and we are joined by Professional Dominatrix and sexpert Mi ... Show More
1h 31m
Jul 2024
Ep. 137: 50 Shades of Play: Unmasking BDSM
Send us a Text Message.Today we will delve into the intriguing and often misunderstood world of BDSM. Whether you are a seasoned kinkster or just a curious cat, this episode will unravel the mysteries behind bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism.  We w ... Show More
16m 38s
Dec 2024
Did Ancient People Have Sex Toys?
Dating back some 30,000 years, sex toys have a long (no pun intended) and fascinating history. What were the earliest sex toys like? How did technology change them? And did Victorian doctors really prescribing them for back pain? In today's episode, we're revisiting an episode wh ... Show More
42m 10s
Apr 2025
Ep 40: Kink, community, and transformation
The massive variety of human sexual interests is a little mind-boggling. As what we consider to be sexually typical continues to be expanded and shaped by the internet and popular culture, psychologists are making efforts to research kinks and members of the kink community like n ... Show More
38m 12s
Dec 2024
Top BDSM kink sissy podcast episodes of 2024
This is not your traditional Christmas theme, this is more of an end of year look at some of the top episodes of The Weekly Hot Spot. We owe our growth and success to you, our listeners, so this episode is also a personal thank you to each of you for joining us on our kinky journ ... Show More
30m 58s
Aug 2024
Featuring: Betwixt the Sheets Podcast
This taster episode is taken from the Betwixt the Sheets podcast, created by our friends over at History Hit. Betwixt the Sheets looks into the history of sex, scandal and the weirdest, most fascinating areas of society - from the history of cosmetic surgery, to the Profumo Affai ... Show More
55m 10s
Jun 17
Inside America's Famous Sex Study
How could recording people having sex be 'for science'? Same question for sleeping with your colleagues? Well, these were just two of the practices embraced by the subject of today's conversation.Donna Drucker is returning to the podcast to discuss pioneering sexologist, Alfred K ... Show More
44m 11s
Jun 2024
484 - Compersion is a Spectrum with Dr. Marie Thouin
Today, Dr. Marie Thouin is back to talk about compersion and her new book on the subject.Dr. Marie Thouin is a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coach who supports people of all backgrounds and relational orientations to create intentional and vibrant love lives. She is a leading exp ... Show More
1h 4m
Jul 8
EP446 - Feminist Porn: Producing Pleasure
Welcome to Episode 446 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I’m excited to be joined by Inka Winter, who speaks to me about her journey from surviving a sex cult to pioneering feminist, female-gaze erotica that centers women’s pleasure and authentic consent.Inka Winter is an erotic fi ... Show More
41m 53s