logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2025
31m 16s

The psychology of control - why your bra...

Growth Mindset Psychology
About this episode

We all know smart people make dumb decisions. But why?


  • Why do gamblers double down when they should walk away?
  • Why do we check our phones 58 times a day?
  • Why do people micromanage their partners and get confused when they become distant?


We are all suckers for the illusion of control.


We are convinced that our meddling is needed to achieve our desired outcome. Sadly this misses the important fact that we are causing all our problems.


The episode covers all sorts of personal problems from addictions to relationships, investing to anger and how control is at the heart of our problems.


Whether you are high on neuroticism or curious about how the mind works we have a tonne of good stuff:

  • Recognize your "control triggers" – situations where your grip tightens and makes things worse
  • Practice intentional surrendering in low-stakes situations to build your letting-go muscles
  • Replace control with curiosity by asking "What happens if I don't try to fix this?"


Learn to stop wrestling with life and start dancing with it.



Upgrade to Premium:

🏖️ Ad-free listening

🤘 Support the show

🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content

💬 Community Discord

GrowthMindset.Supercast.com



Related Episodes

  • 5 Science-backed ways to stop disappointing yourself - Spotify - Apple
  • The Psychology of Mistakes - 7 types of lazy thinking - Spotify - Apple
  • 4 Hidden fears that sabotage your life - and what to do about them - Spotify - Apple



Get in Touch

👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset

📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com



Growth Mindset Psychology:

Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.

📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)

🛜 Website - Growth Mindset



Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement


Episode: The psychology of control - why your brain overcomplicates everything


Chapters:

00:00 Introduction: Why Smart People Make Dumb Decisions

00:30 The Science of Control

02:00 Personal Story: The Quad Bike Incident

05:51 The Illusion of Control

07:02 Addiction and Control

09:03 Reactance Theory: Why We Rebel

10:14 Attachment Styles and Control in Relationships

12:32 Paradoxical Intentions: Embracing the Opposite

15:30 Understanding and Managing Anger

18:43 Quieting the Default Mode Network

20:18 The Joy of Surrender

21:09 Show Updates: Embracing Change

22:58 The New Show Concept: The Psychology of Everything

25:25 The Importance of Growth and Change

26:03 Final Thoughts on Control and Surrender

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Up next
Aug 22
Defining Your Own Success in a World Full of Self-Appointed Experts - w/ Mike Winnet (Worlds #1 Demotivational Coach)
What if success isn’t about working harder or even more achievement, but about how we feel day to day? In this episode, Mike Winnet invites us to reconsider the very stories we tell about ambition and achievement. The culture around entrepreneurship often creates illusions; mirag ... Show More
41m 42s
Aug 19
Why Taking Life Less Seriously Could Be the Productivity Boost You Need
The art of making work not suck; how playing helps you stress less (and achieve more). In today’s episode, we challenge the architecture of adulthood, built brick by brick with “shoulds”. Using stories of ancient ancestors and modern cubicles, we’ll ask: Why do we surrender to se ... Show More
25m 8s
Aug 15
How to Stay MOTIVATED When You Keep LOSING - w/ Gold Medal Olympian Sir Ben Hunt-Davis
Imagine training every day for a decade… and still losing. Then figuring out one question that changes everything. Olympic gold medallist Ben Hunt-Davis didn’t win because he trained harder, he’d been doing that for years and kept losing. He won because he and his crew started as ... Show More
44m 54s
Recommended Episodes
Jul 25
TIP739: The Psychology Of Human Misjudgement
On today’s episode, Kyle Grieve discusses Charlie Munger’s legendary speech, The Psychology of Human Misjudgment, and unpacks all 25 of his cognitive biases that often lead even the most intelligent people to make poor decisions. Drawing from Poor Charlie’s Almanack, Kyle explore ... Show More
1h 1m
Dec 2024
Dr Joe Dispenza: How To Become The Creator Of Your Life & Attract Anything (The Scientific Secret To Manifestation)
Join me for a mind-expanding conversation with Dr Joe Dispenza as we dive deep into the science of transformation and creating your future. Dr Joe breaks down how our thoughts and emotions literally shape our biology, explaining why most people stay stuck in their past while offe ... Show More
1h 3m
May 2024
Can Society Survive Without God? | E26 | I Wish You Knew Podcast
🎙️ Dive into a compelling exploration of faith and its profound impact on modern life in this episode of "I Wish You Knew." Join host Adam Lane Smith, the attachment specialist, and co-host Andrey Korikov, CEO and co-founder of Veritas Creative, as they dissect the controversial ... Show More
1h 30m
Jul 2024
Work Culture Red Flags and Green Lights
That little voice inside, you've heard it before, haven't you? Whispering "This place just isn't letting me thrive." Or maybe you've felt its opposite - those energizing moments when your values aligned perfectly and your whole self showed up effortlessly. If those experiences re ... Show More
40m 25s
Jan 2025
How To Awaken Your Divine Manifestation Power To Attract Anything | Gregg Braden
Get my new book Make Money Easy here!Something within humans is so powerful and precious that organizations will start wars, collapse economies, and unleash pandemics to distract us from it. Five-time New York Times bestselling author Gregg Braden reveals this urgent truth about ... Show More
1h 47m
Dec 2024
The Science Of Manifestation: How To Transform Your Energy To Change Your Reality
Today's powerful masterclass brings together Dr Joe Dispenza, Dr. Tara Swart, David Ghiyam, and Dr. James Doty to explore the fascinating intersection of neuroscience, spirituality, and manifestation. We dive deep into how our brain chemistry affects relationships, the science be ... Show More
1h 25m
Apr 2025
Plus Bites 1 | AI Futures, Ancient Myths, Brain Power & Life's Big Questions
Dive deep into a diverse range of fascinating topics in this episode! We start with language, exploring the meaning and nuances of "All's well that ends well" and the weary feeling of "lassitude." Then, we tackle the complex future of Artificial Intelligence, equipping you with e ... Show More
1h 36m
Aug 2024
65: Standard Edition Volume 1 Part 11: The Project for a Scientific Psychology Part 2 Teaser
Subscribe to get access to the full episode, the episode reading list, and all premium episodes! www.patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappiness Abby, Patrick, and Dan continue their journey through the Project for a Scientific Psychology. They explore how the Project reflects recent develop ... Show More
6m 24s
Aug 5
the death of the people-pleaser: how self-abandonment becomes a survival strategy
This episode is a deep dive into the psychological, spiritual, and mythic roots of people-pleasing and why this pattern exists in the first place. We explore how early childhood conditioning teaches us that love must be earned through caretaking, emotional labor, and self-erasure ... Show More
49m 19s
Sep 2024
070 Five Reasons My Podcast Went Viral
📺 Watch & Subscribe on YouTubeIn this episode, our host, David Bayer, dives into the principles that have driven the rapid growth of his podcast and YouTube channel. He shares his journey from 15,000 subscribers to over 100,000 subscribers, emphasizing the importance of consiste ... Show More
16m 8s