logo
episode-header-image
Feb 2025
49m 17s

The Conversations that Bring Us Closer

Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam
About this episode

Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with Alison Wood Brooks about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.

If you missed part one of our conversation with Alison, be sure to check it out! It's titled "We Need to Talk."  Shankar also mentioned our episode with Julia Minson, in which we discuss how to keep conflicts from spiraling. You can find that conversation here

Up next
Aug 18
How Our Brains Learn
Have you ever fallen asleep in school or during a work meeting? Maybe you felt your eyes glaze over as your boss or a teacher droned on and on about a topic that had no relevance to you. What's missing from these classrooms and conference rooms is engagement: A state of being abs ... Show More
1h 22m
Aug 11
The Best Years of Your Life
Aging isn’t just a biological process. Our outlooks and emotions also change as we age, often in ways that boost our well-being. This week, we revisit a favorite conversation with psychologist Laura Carstensen, who helps us unpack the science behind this surprising finding, and s ... Show More
1h 19m
Aug 4
Radical Kindness
Why do some people risk their own lives to help another person, or give away their fortunes for the benefit of strangers? This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Abigail Marsh, who studies the science of altruism. We'll explore what's known about the brains of peo ... Show More
1h 4m
Recommended Episodes
Jan 2025
The science of better workplace conversations
What can we learn about the way we speak by analysing thousands of everyday conversations? That’s a question that fascinates Alison Wood Brooks. Alison, an associate professor at Harvard Business School, and author of the forthcoming book, Talk: The Science of Conversation and th ... Show More
17m 41s
Mar 2025
3. How to Have the Hardest Conversations
The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are pro ... Show More
30m 40s
Aug 12
222. Discussing Through Discomfort: Why the Conversations You Avoid Cost You the Most
Some conversations are uncomfortable, but avoiding them comes with a cost.You want a more successful career, a more fulfilling relationship, a more meaningful life? What if all that’s standing in your way — are the conversations that you’re avoiding?“Most things that we want in l ... Show More
24m 31s
Feb 2025
Alison Wood Brooks (on the science of conversation)
Alison Wood Brooks (Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves) is a behavioral research scientist. Alison joins the Armchair Expert to discuss why growing up as a twin is like watching an alternate version of your own life, how we underestimate the complexi ... Show More
2h 8m
Nov 2024
169. Don't Be a ZQ: Make Your Conversations Count
​​ What makes a great conversation? “Many of us dread small talk,” says Harvard Business School professor and author Alison Wood Brooks. Yet she believes these everyday exchanges are the gateway to deeper connection and opportunity. An expert in the science of conversation, Wood ... Show More
24m 50s
Jun 4
Late night talks: trauma, healing, culture, parents & more
Assalamu’alaikum everyone,Welcome back to another episode in our Late Night Talks series — a space where I reflect on speed-topic submissions sent in by my listeners. If you'd like to be a part of this series, feel free to send in a DM or comment on Instagram at @islamic.feelings ... Show More
51m 59s
Jun 2020
Steven Pinker – Talking About Talking
Steven Pinker and Alan explore the words we use that bind us together, even when asking someone to pass the guacamole. A conversation that explores the surprising ways we have of connecting through language – and why, despite our current crises, some things in the world really ha ... Show More
44m 49s
Jun 24
Turn Dreaded Conversations Into Breakthrough Moments
Daily Boost Podcast Show Notes Turn Dreaded Conversations Into Breakthrough Moments June 24, 2025 | Episode - 5122 Host: Scott Smith Episode Description You know that conversation you’ve been putting off? The one that makes your stomach twist just thinking about it? Scott’s got y ... Show More
12m 14s
Aug 2024
Encore - How to have great conversations, with Charles Duhigg and Michael Yeomans, PhD
Conversational chemistry might seem intangible, but psychologists are beginning figure out what makes some conversations work while others fall apart. Charles Duhigg, author of the upcoming book Supercommunicators and conversation researcher Michael Yeomans, PhD, talk about how a ... Show More
51m 32s
Jul 11
How to Handle Difficult Conversations
Avoiding tough conversations might feel easier, but it often holds us back.In this episode, Jake and Damian unpack why leaning into difficult conversations is essential for growth, connection, and real leadership. With insights from guests like James Vowles, Emily Maitlis, Charle ... Show More
23m 15s