Dr. Alfiee, psychologist, host of the Couched in Color podcast and founder of the AAKOMA Project, dives into attachment styles, how depression can impact a partnership, and the ways our traumas and triggers can become unearthed in new relationships. Then this week’s Dear Damona question is: I married too young and stayed too long. Can you please help me get back into the dating game?
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Timestamps
Introduction to the Episode (00:00:00)
Attachment Styles Overview (00:00:59)
Expectations in Relationships (00:03:30)
The Desire to Change Partners (00:05:04)
The Fantasy of Relationships (00:06:13)
Effort vs. Work in Relationships (00:08:01)
Unpacking Emotional Baggage (00:08:35)
Understanding Attachment Styles (00:09:55)
Cultural Context of Attachment (00:12:04)
Personal Experiences with Attachment (00:14:23)
Embracing Attachment Nuances (00:15:17)
Understanding Family Dynamics and Attachment Styles (00:16:50)
Personal Reflection on Attachment Styles (00:17:42)
The Impact of Community on Relationships (00:18:26)
Navigating Triggers in Relationships (00:19:55)
Mental Health and Medication Statistics (00:20:37)
Stigma Around Mental Health in Communities (00:22:13)
Dating with Mental Health Challenges (00:23:05)
Recognizing Deal Breakers in Relationships (00:23:43)
Changing Attitudes Towards Therapy (00:25:51)
Generational Differences in Mental Health Views (00:27:06)
Healing from Trauma and Relationships (00:28:08)
The Process of Healing and Trauma Management (00:30:25)
Distinguishing Good and Bad Butterflies (00:32:22)
The Importance of Self-Reflection Before Dating (00:33:14)
Understanding Triggers in Relationships (00:33:50)
Disclosing Trauma in Relationships (00:35:17)
Trust and Safety in Sharing Trauma (00:36:12)
Empowerment in Relationships (00:38:17)
Unpopular Opinions on Relationships (00:39:46)
Finding a New Relationship After Marriage (00:41:23)
Going Where the People Are (00:43:24)
Strategic Socializing for Dating (00:45:38).
Creating Momentum in Dating (00:49:04)
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