logo
episode-header-image
Aug 2024
26m 12s

Ep 302: Debunking Gender Myths for Paren...

TALKINGTOTEENS.COM
About this episode

Michelle Jurkiewicz and Diane Ehrensaft, co-authors of Gender Explained, join us to dismantle common misconceptions about transgender and non-binary youth, address the impact of misinformation, and highlight the importance of thoughtful, gender-affirming care.

Full Show Notes


In today's digital age, the flood of information—both accurate and misleading—about gender can be overwhelming for parents. Understanding the real science and nuanced truths behind gender diversity is essential, not just for parents of transgender or non-binary teens, but for any families navigating the complex landscape of modern gender identity. Misinformation can exacerbate anxieties, perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and hinder the emotional and psychological development of our teenagers.

Regardless of whether your child is cisgender or part of the LGBTQ+ community, becoming well-informed about gender identity issues is crucial. Misconceptions can lead to unintended harm, fostering environments where biases and myths thrive. Ensuring we respond with understanding and backed by research can make a world of difference in how our children perceive themselves and their place in society.

To shed light on these issues, we're joined by Dr. Michelle Jurkiewicz and Dr. Diane Ehrensaft—co-authors of the new book, Gender Explained. Diane is the co-founder and director of mental health at the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at UCSF, an esteemed expert with numerous publications on gender. Michelle is a clinical psychologist and gender specialist in Berkeley, California. Together, they bring a wealth of knowledge about gender identity and equity, highlighting how gender-affirming care can profoundly impact mental health positively.

Addressing Misconceptions

One of the most harmful pieces of misinformation is the belief that gender-affirming care lacks a scientific basis and is merely politically driven. Michelle and Diane emphasize that gender-affirming care is indeed evidence-based and involves a diligent, thoughtful process, contrary to the notion of rubber-stamping treatment requests. They also point out that contrary to some accusations, gender diversity is innate and cannot be instilled by external influences or by medical professionals.

Another issue they tackle is the myth that a transgender identity in children is just a phase or that it is contagious. Michelle highlights the essential point that gender, much like other aspects of identity, manifests uniquely in each individual, and invalidating these identities can have damaging effects on young people.

The Importance of Proper Care

Diane passionately debunks the "rubber stamping" myth—instead explaining that gender-affirming care is a collaborative effort involving mental health professionals, endocrinologists, parents, and the children themselves. This multifaceted approach ensures decisions are made carefully, supporting the child's well-being at every step. She also introduces the concept of "social gender dysphoria," which acknowledges that external societal pressures often exacerbate the discomfort felt by gender-diverse youth.

Particularly insightful is how they address the emotional journey parents may face, including moments of grief or confusion. Understanding that gender identity is about honoring children's dreams and realities—rather than the expectations we may have—is pivotal in fostering a healthy family dynamic.

Handling Emotional Responses

Our discussions also delve into how to manage personal discomfort as a parent when confronted with non-conforming gender expressions. Diane offers personal anecdotes illustrating how initial discomfort can transform into acceptance and understanding over time, emphasizing the role of love in this process. Michelle adds practical advice on slowing down and reflecting on our gut reactions, encouraging compassion and self-awareness as tools for overcoming bias.

Furthermore, Michelle explains the necessity of sports participation for transgender youth in fostering mental health, community, and personal development. Excluding children from sports teams, she warns, can have detrimental impacts on their well-being.

The Broader Picture

The book also tackles broader societal issues, such as rapid-onset gender dysphoria (a concept Michelle thoroughly discredits), the impact of restrictive legislation on transgender youth, and the importance of creating inclusive environments. By redefining misunderstood concepts and emphasizing evidence-based research, Diane and Michelle aim to replace fear and misinformation with understanding and support.

By the episode’s end, it becomes clear that thoughtful, gender-affirming care benefits children profoundly, reaffirming their identities and promoting healthier, happier lives. Michelle and Diane continuously advocate for gender literacy, reminding parents of the continual evolution of gender understanding, underlined by humanity and empathy.

In the Episode…

Want to dive deeper into these critical issues? Here’s what else you’ll find in our enlightening conversation:

  • The psychological impact of sports inclusion for transgender youth
  • How to navigate rapid-onset gender dysphoria accusations
  • The role of patience and understanding in affirming your child’s identity
  • Addressing the balance between parental authority and adolescent independence
  • Practical advice on handling name changes and social transitions

Don’t miss this episode for expert insights and compassionate advice. Listen in to be part of a conversation that promotes equality and understanding for all youth. Remember to share, subscribe, and join us next week for more insights on parenting teens!

Up next
Jul 13
Ep 342: Hot vs. Cold Communication Explained
Kenneth Ginsburg, author of Lighthouse Parenting, explains how parents can build lasting bonds with teens by balancing structure, trust, and unconditional love, and shares practical communication strategies.Full Show NotesWe often hear that teens thrive best when they feel deeply ... Show More
26m 9s
Jun 16
Ep 341: Launching Your Teen into Adulthood
Robert Finlay, author of Hey Dad, shares essential strategies on how parents can equip teens with crucial adulting skills, covering money management, networking, handling emergencies, and building independence.Full Show NotesDo your teens sometimes shock you with questions you as ... Show More
21m 13s
Jun 2
Ep 340: Why Teens Need You to Listen Differently
Christine Miles, author of What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?, teaches us how transformational listening can deepen connections with teenagers by hearing what's unsaid, asking the right questions, and creating life-changing conversations.Full Show NotesWe all think of ourselve ... Show More
19m 50s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2024
Supporting Your Teen Through Life's Challenges
In today’s episode, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd explore the struggles teens often face, including issues like drugs, addiction and pornography. Mark emphasizes the importance of parents being proactive, understanding that teens are likely to encounter these challenges, often ... Show More
17m 11s
Jun 2024
Turning Everyday Moments Into Meaningful Connections
It often feels like we're all running 100 miles an hour, juggling work, errands and life. But in the rush, we might miss the chance to connect with our teens when they need us the most. In today's show, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd discuss the often-overlooked opportu ... Show More
10m 59s
Oct 2024
I Mustache Mark a Question: Consequences, Cell Phones and Vaping
In today’s insightful episode, Mark Gregston dives into the pressing questions that every parent faces while raising teens in today's complex world. From handling a teen who seems unfazed by consequences to managing the intricacies of cell phone use and digital communication, ... Show More
21m 34s
Jan 2024
Tackling Teen Entitlement
An entitled, demanding teen can be a nightmare. There are plenty of parents out there who feel this pain, but in today's episode, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd provide practical strategies for empowering parents to raise respectful teens. Their discussion emphasizes the si ... Show More
16m 42s
Oct 2024
Helping Your Teen Navigate Anger
In today’s episode, Mark Gregston shares a personal devotion, diving into the complex issue of teen anger and how to apply the wisdom of James 1:19. Mark encourages parents to look beyond surface-level behaviors and understand the deeper heart issues fueling anger in teens. He hi ... Show More
17m 30s
Oct 2024
Breaking Screen Addiction: A Teen’s Perspective on Setting Boundaries (#212)
In this episode, host Melanie Hempe is joined by her son, Andrew, who shares his personal insights on screen habits and addiction. Together, they dispel the myth that setting boundaries around screen time leads to rebellion. Instead, Andrew explains how boundaries are an act of l ... Show More
38m 25s
Aug 2023
1877: Why Fathers & Young Adult Sons Fail to Connect by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus of Parents Letting Go on Difficult Family Problems
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus talks about why fathers and young adult sons fail to connectEpisode 1877: Why Fathers & Young Adult Sons Fail to Connect by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus of Parents Letting Go on Difficult Family ProblemsDr. Stoltzfus’ mission is to provide information, education, guidanc ... Show More
10m 30s
Jul 2024
Are Your Expectations Pushing Your Teen Away?
Our teens are wrestling with the pressures of their world. They don't need more “you should do this” lectures — they need your listening ears and sometimes, just your silent support. In today's episode, Mark talks about the importance of understanding the changing dynamic ... Show More
17m 46s
May 5
The Follow-Up: How Phones and Social Media Impact Kids
In this insightful follow-up episode, Dr. Mona is joined by Bill Brady—CEO of Troomi Wireless and a father of five—for a powerful conversation about the realities of kids and phones. They discuss the benefits of tech, the very real risks of social media, and how parents can intro ... Show More
14m 59s
Jun 2024
Building Responsibility in Tweens
Our approach to parenting must shift as our kids’ world changes — which means we have to recognize the complex issues our pre-teens are being faced with. In this episode, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd dive into the crucial subject of instilling responsibility in tweens — child ... Show More
16m 37s