logo
episode-header-image
May 2024
1h 5m

214: Ask Alvin Anything: Part 2

JEN LUMANLAN
About this episode

Exploring Marriage, Autism, Race, and Parenting Together


Want to know how my autism self-diagnosis has affected my relationship with my husband? (I will apologize to autistic listeners here as an ableist perspective is still something we're working on, and he also uses some outdated terminology probably from an old book he's started twice - but not yet finished - on supporting partners with Asperger's Syndrome.)


 


Curious about whether he identifies as Filipino-American... or not? And how his perspective on race differs from mine?


 


Want to hear how he sent a chicken up into space...and then found out what the two pink lines of a pregnancy test mean?


 


Last year, when we were coming up on our 200th podcast episode, I asked my husband Alvin if he would be willing to record a podcast episode. I had envisioned listeners asking the questions and him answering - but he wanted me to join as well!


 


One of the first things we learned was that Alvin cannot be succinct. (Well, technically speaking, this was not a new lesson for me - and interviewer Iris had tried really hard to prepare him for succinctness by asking for his 'elevator pitch' - but he just couldn't do it!)


 


So we ended up cutting the episode when it was already over an hour and we hadn't covered half of the questions listeners had submitted...and interviewers Iris and Corrine graciously agreed to return for a Part 2. So here it is!


 

Other episodes mentioned


Jump to Highlights


01:22Introducing this episode


04:28Alvin talks about how Jen's autism diagnosis helps their relationship while Jen shares how it helps in their daily life and parenting.


12:47Alvin and Jen talk about how they decided to become parents.


25:10Alvin discusses his upbringing in a predominantly White area, his evolving awareness of his Filipino heritage, and how his wife Jen's advocacy work has shaped his understanding of race and culture.


38:13Alvin talks about his journey from wanting to be seen as White to embracing his Filipino heritage and identifying as a Brown person.


46:32Alvin encourages dads to be actively involved in parenting, prioritize their partners, and be present in family life. 57:15Alvin and the hosts engage in a quickfire round of questions, discussing topics from parenting to personal preferences.


01:00:50Wrapping up

Up next
Sep 29
256: Managing Anger as a Parent: The Two Types of Anger You Need to Know
Are you tired of feeling guilty every time you get angry as a parent? What if your anger actually contains valuable information about what needs to change in your family systems? Most parental anger management approaches treat all anger the same way - as a problem that requires c ... Show More
26m 29s
Sep 22
255: Why Do I Keep Snapping? Parenting Rage When Your Childhood ‘Wasn’t That Bad
Do you find yourself going from zero to a hundred in seconds when your child spills something, refuses to cooperate, or has a meltdown? If you're constantly asking yourself, "Why do I keep snapping at my child?" or "Why am I so angry as a parent?" - you're definitely not alone. M ... Show More
35m 24s
Sep 15
Episode Summary 04: Reparenting Yourself: Break Your Family’s Trauma Cycle
Every parent knows that harsh inner voice that whispers "You're a terrible parent" when you lose your patience, or "You've ruined your kids forever" after a difficult moment. This episode reveals a simple "magic trick" that can instantly create space between you and those critica ... Show More
21m 47s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2024
Erin & Stephen Mitchell: Partnership and parenting with ADHD
Episode 181 with Erin & Stephen Mitchell.“I want to start a support group for partners of people diagnosed in adulthood because they have to listen to us go on and on and on about our ADHD.”This episode is an interview I did with Erin & Stephen Mitchell for their podcast, Couples ... Show More
58 m
Jan 2025
When Your Partner is in Med School… What You Need to Know
Supporting a Med Student is Tough In this episode, host Dave Etler has been (kidnapped? It’s unclear) and replaced by his grumpy brother Dominic Etler, MD, Harvard, Class of ’96. Confused M1s Megan Perry, Jay Miller, Cara Arrasmith, and M4 Matt Engelken nevertheless buckle down t ... Show More
52m 56s
Apr 2025
Danielle Elliot: The rise in diagnoses: Why women? Why now?
Episode 197 with Danielle Elliot.“I would love to see the conversation move towards less questioning of women when they talk about having ADHD.”Danielle is a health and science journalist, documentarian, and creator and host of Climbing the Walls, a new 6-part podcast series prod ... Show More
58m 6s
Aug 2016
#010: Rappin’ with Rumi: An Interview w/ Baraka Blue in Malaysia
Greetings of Peace loved ones! Apologies for the time between podcasts. I have been on the road for the last 3 months and haven't been able to sit down for another episode. I just finished up a tour in Malaysia and, while there, had the opportunity to do an interview for Malaysia ... Show More
33m 35s
Sep 2024
Navigating Parenthood: What Every Dad Needs to Know
In this special conversation, Forrest explores what it means to be a good father with his dad, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson. They discuss the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of parenthood, starting with the advice Rick would have given himself. Rick and Forrest ... Show More
1h 19m
Oct 2024
Relisten: Dr. Dan Siegel - The Yes Brain
Hunter talks to Dr. Dan Siegel about The Yes Brain. Some big takeaways from this episode include: 1. Learning the importance of a “yes” brain - receptive, present, and open versus the reactivity and rigidity of the “no” brain. 2. We can build resilience in our children by teachin ... Show More
42m 26s
Mar 2024
S6 Ep12: Mommy Issues: The Ways to Better Understand My Boyfriend!
In this episode, accredited sex and relationships therapist Cate Campbell and son Diggory take a serious look at 'Mommy Issues' and answer other questions from their listeners including 'Should I use a tampon to stop c*m running down my leg?', 'Am I not bisexual?' and 'What shoul ... Show More
34m 44s
Oct 2024
Forces Of Nature: A Conversation On Childhood Trauma with Gina Demillo Wagner
In case you didn't know, we're still making episodes that are available exclusively on Nora's Substack! We wanted to give all of our listeners a little preview of our most recent episode! Consider joining Nora's Substack to listen to the rest of the episode, get additional bonus ... Show More
24m 2s
Dec 2023
Lindsay Guentzel: Positive thinking & learning to accept help
Episode 167 with Lindsay Guentzel.“I am very outgoing, so people assume I’m an extrovert. But I'm very much an introvert who needs to go back to my little dark hole and recharge.”Lindsay is a television and radio host, producer, writer and mental health advocate who started a new ... Show More
57m 2s