Echoism vs Narcissism: What’s the Difference?
Have you heard of Echoism?
It’s a term that describes individuals who tend to repeat what others say to avoid conflict or assert their own opinions. In a world where narcissism often dominates our social media feeds, a lesser-known term offers a refreshing alternative: echoism, the other side of Narcissism
Echoism being the opposite of narcissism, and it describes people who prefer to remain in the background and pursue a quieter, more empathetic way of life. In this article, we’ll define echoism and how it differs from narcissism and fits in with other behaviours and relationships. Ulteriorly, how can you identify if you have echoistic tendencies?
What is Echoism?
Echoism is a term coined by psychotherapist Dr Craig Malkin, and it refers to individuals who prefer to remain in the background, avoid the spotlight, and prioritise others’ needs above their own. Echoists tend to have low self-esteem, struggle to assert themselves, and may even feel ashamed of taking up space in the world.
Echoists are not doormats but tend to be kind and supportive, but this doesn’t mean they are naïve or weak, with many being intelligent and successful and more than capable of getting cross if, for example, you make a fuss of them.
How is Echoism Different from Narcissism?
At the other end of the narcissism spectrum are what we call the echoists (named after the lovelorn nymph Echo, who fell for the self-adoring Narcissus in the original Greek myth), who struggled to feel superior and was afraid of seeming narcissistic in any way — so much so that they often suffer from anxiety and depression, and lose their voice.
They can’t even see themselves through slightly rose-tinted glasses. Unlike narcissists who crave attention, admiration, and validation, echoists aim to avoid it. They often struggle to accept compliments, feel uncomfortable receiving gifts, and may even reject the help offered.
They tend to expend their energy on others, and this imbalance of giving and receiving can leave them feeling depleted and resentful.
The story of Narcissus and Echo
Narcissists & Echoists, Get Their Names from Ancient Greek Mythology.
Narcissus was the nymph who fell in love with his reflection, obsessing over it to the point that he neglected food and rest and died. But few of us know Echo’s tragic tale who was condemned to repeat the last words anyone uttered to her, and when she fell in love with Narcissus, she could sadly only echo him. Being rejected, she grieved and died.
Are You an Echoist?
Echoists are often people pleasers, and if the idea of being the centre of attention makes you uncomfortable, you may be an echoist. Echoism is sometimes considered the opposite of narcissism, but central to being an echoist is a fear of seeming narcissistic.
Robert Burney coined the term "co-dependent" in the 1940s and defined it as someone who depends on another person to meet their emotional needs.