logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2024
1h 14m

Dan Savage On: How to Handle Disappointm...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Dan Savage has been writing the popular sex-advice column Savage Love for over thirty years. He also hosts the Savage Lovecast and is the author of numerous books. In 2010 Dan and his husband founded the It Gets Better Project, which was designed to give hope to LGBTQ kids. It was seen all over the world–and won an Emmy. 

In this episode we talk about:

  • How to handle disappointment and jealousy
  • How to get better at sex
  • Why so many couples lose their spark and what to do about it
  • How to date in the era of apps
  • Why it’s so hard for straight couples to talk about sex
  • Dan’s contention that the idea of a ‘couple’ is an illusion

Related Episodes:

Sign up for Dan Harris’s weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan Harris on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dan-savage-723

Up next
Today
The Science of Conversation: How To Say What You Mean, Be Heard, and Stop People-Pleasing | Alison Wood Brooks
You talk all day. Here’s how to do it better, according to a professor from Harvard Business School. Alison Wood Brooks comes from the Harvard Business School, where she teaches a course called “TALK: How to Talk Gooder in Business and Life,” which she has now turned into a book, ... Show More
1h 19m
Yesterday
How To Meditate When You're Freaking Out | Kaira Jewel Lingo
What to do when you're in the grip of grief, anxiety, or overwhelm. Our Teacher of the Month, Kaira Jewel Lingo, has some suggestions for finding your way through. Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel On Sunday, ... Show More
18m 28s
Aug 22
How To Handle Your Demons | Vinny Ferraro
We’re bringing you some of our favorite gems from the archives, as chosen by our staff. This week, we’re hearing from dharma teacher Vinny Ferraro, as chosen by our producer Eleanor Vasilli. Vinny explores the concept of “alignment” and how you can actually choose your own attitu ... Show More
19m 53s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2020
255: Common Sexual Challenges And How To Overcome Them
Having sex is not as straight forward as it may seem, especially in long term relationships. Our personal sexual history, combined with another individual's personal sexual history, can make things quite complicated! Listen to today's show to learn how to navigate the sexual chal ... Show More
44m 50s
Jun 2020
253: How To Have Better Sex Now!
Sex is an important part of any healthy relationship. Listen to this episode for some great new tips on how to improve your sex life, especially during these challenging times. In this episode, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: How to improve your sex life if yo ... Show More
39m 3s
Jun 2021
306: Overcoming A Sexless Marriage
We often think the experts have everything figured out in their relationships and marriages. The reality is they're just like most people! They share the same struggles, argue about who cleans the dishes and get on each other's nerves. Listen to today's show to learn from Dr. Hea ... Show More
34m 1s
Jul 2021
131 | Jealousy at its Hottest: Sean’s Sex Stories
When his first girlfriend cheated on him in high school, Sean (50 he/him straight white M LTR/Cuckoldry, Small Penis Humiliation, Chastity/Works in IT/rural Northwest) started getting turned on and thought something was wrong with him—but he’d get off on it all the time. With int ... Show More
1h 6m
May 2024
Episode 297: How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind
A lot of the relationship advice littering every corner of the internet tries to distill love into a simple set of “rules.” It’d be nice if things were that easy, but they aren’t! It’s time to ditch the so-called “rules” of relationships because they might be getting in the way o ... Show More
29m 34s
Jun 2024
Love, Sex, and Success with Gabby Reece Pt. 1
Volleyball legend and podcast host Gabby Reece takes the hot seat and reveals all her secrets to being a successful athlete, wife, parent and business owner with her famous surfer husband, Laird Hamilton. In this episode you’ll learn:  Sex rules to keep your man happy How to play ... Show More
1h 4m
Apr 2021
295: How To Prevent Sex From Dying Out In Your Relationship
There seems to be a preconceived inevitability of the sex dying out in long term relationships. Sometimes it's a bang, sometimes it goes out with a fizzle. But it doesn't have to be that way! Listen to today's show to learn how to keep the spark alive in long term relationships. ... Show More
50m 25s
Oct 2022
How Good Sex Will Help Your Relationship and Your Mental Health | Relationship Theory
More than half of all teenagers are totally uncomfortable discussing the same thing that nearly a third of adults are uncomfortable discussing. Sex! The question that Tom and Lisa tackle today is if waiting to have sex before marriage is the right thing. Yes, there are religious ... Show More
24m 40s
Sep 2017
Dan Savage: Sex and Candor
Dan Savage has dished out love and sex advice in his syndicated Savage Love column for over 25 years. He's blunt, hilarious and empathetic-- and not just in his writing! Dan joins Katie and Brian to discuss working at Ann Landers' desk, being "monogamish" and the sex questions he ... Show More
58m 41s
Oct 2020
272: Understanding Our Sexual Needs For A Better Relationship
We all have ideal sexual ideas for what we'd like to see in our relationship. Often these ideals are not met, or understood, resulting in relationship issues. Listen to today's show to learn how to identify your sexual needs, communicate them with your partner and improve your re ... Show More
40m 24s