episode-header-image

Jan 2024

23m 30s

376 SelfWork: Three Unexpected Facets of...

MARGARET ROBINSON RUTHERFORD PHD

About this episode

Up next

518 SelfWork: How To Use Your Innate Intuition to Heal and Grow

Today we're talking with two experts on tuning into your own intuition.Sarah Gregg is a psychologist and a published author with over 90,000 copies of her books sold. And Jill Ritchie is a highly sought after intuitive coach who's worked with Olympians, celebrities, and high achi ... Show More

517 SelfWork: Challenging Your Fear and The Underlying Assumptions That Keep It Alive

There’s a word for intense fear of change. Metathesiophobia.That’s when your fear of change is so strong and affects your life so intensely that you’ve developed an actual phobia around change. If that has become the case, then you’d avoid any change in your life as much as possi ... Show More

516 SelfWork: Panicked About Panic: 5 Surefire Ways to Calm Your Nervous System

Having a panic disorder is bad enough.You may be able to anticipate it happening; for example, if you tend to panic when you see a spider or a snake.But other times, panic attacks – the sudden onset of intense symptoms of anxiety, such as trouble breathing, your heart racing, fee ... Show More

Recommended Episodes

Ep. 281 Grief & Letting Go

<p>In this episode, Lacy, Jessica, and Dr. Tara delve into the profound landscapes of grief, unveiling how it intertwines with blind spots, manifestation, and healing. Grief and loss come in all forms: from experiencing a loved one passing on, to the end of an era in your life, t ... Show More

263: How to Get Stuff Done When You’re Grieving and Feel Like Doing Nothing

<p>In this week’s episode, I’m sharing something deeply personal—how I’ve navigated grief while still keeping my life moving forward. Losing my Grandma, Toy, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever walked through, and it completely shifted how I approached work, routines, and eve ... Show More

Grief is Like a Fingerprint

This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with othe ... Show More

62: What Do You Hold On To When Your World Stops?

I'll be real with you, I'm hurting. This was a difficult episode to record. Grief is a pendulum and I'm going from acceptance to denial and from anger to peace right now, but I wanted to show up authentically for you guys to talk about legacy, how healing can feel like breaking a ... Show More

How to Cope with Grief and Loss

Grief is universal—but it rarely feels that way when you’re in it.On this episode, Haesue sits down with writer and podcaster Misty Stinnett to unpack what grief really looks like: messy, unpredictable, and often very lonely. Misty shares the story of losing her father suddenly i ... Show More

Life After Loss | E301

On today’s episode we’re discussing the unwelcome territory we all have to navigate eventually: life after loss. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, a dream, a job, or a relationship, adjusting to your new reality requires a grieving process. Giving yourself permission to fully mo ... Show More

In this week’s episode, Gareth and Kim talk about one of the most challenging things we all face in life - the grieving process.Covering their own individual experiences with grief, they discuss the growth and learning that comes from it, and the comfort that can be found in grie ... Show More

What Not to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

Have you struggled with how to support someone who is grieving? We can’t tell you how many times we’ve been in incredibly awkward situations or said the wrong thing in an effort to be helpful. Today we’re talking about grief and loss with Rachel Wilkerson Miller, the author of Th ... Show More

How to Let Go of People Who Left (and Those You Must Leave)

Send me a messageOne of the hardest times in anyone's life is when we lose someone who is still alive. Perhaps they cut us off, perhaps we cut them off, or perhaps it was mutual. But either way, the pain, regret, blame, and open wound of hope make this type of loss particularly d ... Show More

How to Navigate the Path of Grief with Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

In this Episode, You'll Learn: How there are many different forms of grief Why we need to surrender to our grief and turn toward painful feelings How there are many painful emotions that exist under the "grief umbrella" The challenge of surrendering to grief in a culture tha ... Show More

Norman Lear is someone whose work, talent, and creativity I’ve admired for a long time. I've used an interview that he gave before he died as my inspiration for this episode, when he said about his own mortality, "It's not the going... it's the leaving that's hard."

So today on SW, we’re going to focus on endings and grieving and three facets of grief that may be surprising:

When grief is harder the second year and facing the future is hard
When your grief means that you fear risking loving again
When grief is characterized by "counterfactuals" - "what if's" for example - that keep you paralyzed and living the same life you did when the deceased was alive

Our Speakpipe voicemail today is from a daughter who’s looking for answers for her mom – after her mother has moved in with her own mother (the listener’s grandmother). “She feels a heavy energy…”. And asks how I can help…

Vital Links:

What are counterfactuals and how do they keep you stuck in grief?

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
― Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

Advertiser’s Links:

Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands