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Oct 2023
37 m

Season 3 Episode 8: Expectations

James Covey
About this episode
  • Be aware of the “Shoulds” that can control your life.
  • “All of life’s frustrations come from unmet expectations“- Dr. John Lund
  • Cross Cultural Servanthood by Duane Elmer
  • Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

Cross-Cultural Worker Expectations Worksheet – by James Covey, MA LPC-S

Step 2: Invitations

Internal Expectations

A) Give grace to myself or others. Is my expectation unrealistic? Is this person
able to give me what I need at this time? Do my expectations need to be
adjusted?
B) Release, surrender or grieve an unmet expectation. Do I need to release the
timing of something, confess an unrealistic standard, release the way I think
something should be done, need to suspend judgment about a person or
situation, people group, or grieve that I may not see that expectation fulfilled?
C) Explore deeper healing around a theme. I am aware this expectation is linked
to an area where I need healing. As God has raised my awareness this week, I
want to surrender to Him anew AND have a conversation with someone about
how to pursue healing more deeply.
D) Praise God for His mercy. I’m realizing my expectations have been exceeded
in some areas! I want to take some time to worship and thank Him for His
kindness to me.
E) Redirect my misplaced hopes towards God. I’m realizing how externally
focused I am on getting my needs and desires met. The Lord is inviting me to
release others and turn my focus back on Him as the source of my hope.

External invitations
1) Help in the fog. I don’t know if my expectation is realistic OR I can’t find the
expectation or don’t know how to resolve an unmet expectation. I need someone
to help me explore what is happening on a particular situation.
2) Call to action. Do I need to clarify an expectation with others, have a
conversation about my disappointment, or mirror back to someone a theme I see
in someone’s life around expectations?
3) I need others. This expectation is realistic but I’m having trouble moving
forward. I may be hitting a deeply ingrained attitude or behavior OR see this as
an issue of character development. I need coaching, accountability, prayer, or
counsel.

Make Adjustments Step 3

  • Having done the internal and external invitations; now I need to rewrite or adjust my
    expectations. Changing the expectations to live in the reality of what is now (Step 3)
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