logo
episode-header-image
Oct 2023
1h 14m

911: Esther Perel | Cheating, Argument, ...

Jordan Harbinger
About this episode

Where should we begin examining our problems with relationships, cheating, conflict, and more? Legendary therapist Esther Perel talks us through it here!

What We Discuss with Esther Perel:
  • People who cheat don't necessarily want to leave their partner — they want to leave what they have become, or to get in touch with another part of themselves that they miss.
  • Is monogamy a state that mating humans evolved toward naturally, or is it more of a social construct imposed for the sake of control?
  • Most of us don't argue because we love conflict, but because we're trying to galvanize some kind of change that requires another person's participation. So how can we argue better for the sake of both parties?
  • What we can learn from conflict — especially with respect to creating connection.
  • As an expert in intimacy and human connection, where does Esther see us heading as a species when we can all have bespoke AI in our pocket that just exists to make us happy?
  • And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/911

This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Up next
Yesterday
1221: Andrew Bustamante | A Spy's Guide to Our Dangerous World Part Two
The intelligence world is evolving rapidly. Former CIA officer Andrew Bustamante explains Cold War tech, Ukraine strategy, and global conflicts. [Pt. 2/2 — catch Pt. 1/2 here!]Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1221What We Discuss with Andrew Bus ... Show More
1h 5m
Oct 7
1220: Andrew Bustamante | A Spy's Guide to Our Dangerous World Part One
The intelligence world is evolving rapidly. Former CIA officer Andrew Bustamante explains Cold War tech, Ukraine strategy, and global conflicts. [Pt. 1/2]Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1220What We Discuss with Andrew Bustamante:Number station ... Show More
1h 6m
Oct 5
1219: Redheads | Skeptical Sunday
Redheads are bullied, fetishized, and medically misunderstood. Jessica Wynn is here to color in the facts about being a ginger on this Skeptical Sunday!Welcome to Skeptical Sunday, a special edition of The Jordan Harbinger Show where Jordan and a guest break down a topic that you ... Show More
1 h
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2024
The Gottman Doctors: Affairs Can Actually Save Your Relationship! But If You See This, It's Time To Walk Away!
After 50 years of research, the Gottmans can predict with 90% accuracy if a relationship is doomed for divorce, these are the answers to love you've been searching for Drs. John and Julie Gottman are professional relationship researchers that have published over 200 academic jour ... Show More
2h 18m
Sep 9
What Your Love Life Can Teach You About Work Relationships with psychotherapist Esther Perel
We’ve never had more freedom in our relationships—yet many of us feel more disconnected than ever. Marriage, family, and even the workplace have all been reshaped by shifting norms, new technologies, and rising expectations. Happiness, once a nice-to-have, is now the very glue th ... Show More
1h 2m
Sep 2024
How to Find, Build & Maintain Healthy Romantic Relationships | Esther Perel
In this episode, my guest is Esther Perel, a world-renowned psychotherapist, relationship expert, and bestselling author. She explains healthy romantic relationship dynamics and how to achieve them. The answer includes curiosity not just about the other person but, more important ... Show More
2h 6m
May 2024
Potholes & Productive Conflict in Relationships with Abby & Glennon
312. Potholes & Productive Conflict in Relationships with Abby & Glennon Abby and Glennon answer ALL of your relationship questions. We get into juicy topics like how to fight better, the balance of individuation and connection in relationships, and how to take ownership of your ... Show More
59m 1s
Jul 2024
The Arc of Love - A Small Town Affair
It began as a passionate affair and ended two marriages. Now, they're struggling as they try to build trust. Esther encourages them to be brutally honest--with themselves. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s ... Show More
50m 22s
Feb 2025
Q&A From Our Marriage WebClass: Navigating broken agreements, defensiveness, not honoring the pause, discussing unmet needs
Last week was our LIVE Marriage Webclass on effective communication, de-escalating conflicts, and repairing after an argument. If you missed registering for that FREE event, you can still access the replay link here. There was so much that we covered that we did not have time to ... Show More
33m 2s
Mar 2025
#261 Harnessing the Power of Conflict for Healthier Relationships
In this episode of Heal Your Heartbreak, we're exploring the concept of conflict resilience with experts Bob Bordone and Dr. Joel Salinas. Bob, a negotiation and mediation expert, and Joelle, a neurology professor, have come together to discuss how embracing conflict, rather than ... Show More
44m 57s
Apr 2025
Why Do Men Cheat? Understanding Infidelity in Relationships & Marriage
This episode is brought to you by moonbird: Tired of stress hijacking your day or struggling to fall asleep at night? Meet moonbird, your handheld breathing coach, designed to help you slow down and reconnect with your breath. Born from personal need and backed by science, moonbi ... Show More
57m 44s
Jul 2024
The Arc of Love - The Poly Dinner Party
Join Esther for a dinner table conversation on the topic of polyamory. The dinner was held to mark the anniversary of a panel discussion Esther was part of on the same topic ten years earlier. Together the original panel and a few new friends explore what has changed in the last ... Show More
51m 6s
Sep 30
Do Spouses Need to Validate Every Feeling or Emotional Upset? Episode 416
When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other’s feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on? The truth is when emotional validation i ... Show More
20m 39s