logo
episode-header-image
May 2023
57m 48s

finding a sense of self as a trauma-dump...

Mollie Adler
About this episode

In this listener Q&A episode, we explore profound and complex themes around self-identity, relationships, forgiveness, and the search for emotional stability. Each listener brings a unique perspective and challenge, from grappling with the Buddhist concept of “no-self” to navigating the difficult terrain of forgiveness and dependency in relationships. Join us as we delve deep into these topics, offering insights that could reshape how you approach your mental health and interpersonal connections.


Episode Highlights:


  • Priyasha’s Journey with “No-Self” and Identity (03:34): In Dubai, Priyasha reflects on her struggle to “find a sense of self” as she works through the symptoms of her BPD diagnosis. We explore how Buddhist principles, especially the concept of “anatta” or “no-self,” can provide a path to self-understanding, particularly in the realm of emotion dysregulation and how these ideas have been adapted into DBT.


  • Allison’s Experience of Isolation after Suicide Attempts (25:08): Allison feels like her friends and family are pulling away after her recent suicide attempts, leading her to question the roots of her distress and the concept of emotional boundaries. We dive into topics like emotional vampirism, trauma-dumping, and ways to express vulnerability without overwhelming loved ones.


  • Gia’s Struggle with Forgiveness and Past Trauma (52:17): Gia wrestles with forgiving her childhood caregivers while still feeling triggered by their presence as an adult. We touch on the nature of “magical thinking” in trauma recovery, the pitfalls of “going back to the empty well,” and how to approach forgiveness as a self-healing tool rather than an obligation.


  • Fae’s Conflicted Feelings in Relationships (01:13:26): Fae finds herself developing crushes on friends while in a committed relationship, stirring up feelings of guilt and confusion. We examine the “Favorite Person” phenomenon often discussed in the BPD recovery community, the risks of objectifying others for emotional regulation, and strategies for creating emotional independence and balance in relationships.


This episode invites you to rethink how you relate to yourself and others, offering both practical guidance and deep reflection on managing emotional triggers, identity, and the pursuit of genuine self-acceptance. Tune in for an intimate, empathetic exploration of recovery and personal growth.


Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.


The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Up next
Nov 25
the holy grail and the lost wisdom of the west
<p>For centuries, the Holy Grail has been treated as a Christian relic or a medieval myth. But the Grail is <em>far</em> older than this, and its meaning was never meant to be lost. </p><br><p>In this episode, we will follow the lineage of the sacred cup from prehistoric carvings ... Show More
1h 15m
Nov 20
how we all became a little satanic
<p>The popular image of Satanism belongs to horror movies, pentagrams, and black candles, but the <em>real</em> influence sits in work culture and the chase for personal. A promotion. A streak of discipline that borders on obsession. A pressure to build a better version of yourse ... Show More
40m 20s
Nov 18
digital scapegoats and the ritual of outrage
<p>One single mistake online can set off a collective judgment that moves faster than thought itself. A name starts to trend and a crowd quickly forms around it. The event feels public, but it somehow reaches into private instinct. The pull to condemn and to belong. But most impo ... Show More
1h 10m
Recommended Episodes
Nov 2022
From Borderline to Beautiful: Dissociation Demystified.
Borderline Personality Disorder is no longer considered a chronic illness. You can lead a great life with a sensitive, intense, hyperbolic... or any temperament for that matter with hard work, grit, endurance, tenacity, and the willingness to get uncomfortable. Check out this art ... Show More
26m 35s
Mar 2022
443: Healing From Trauma, Turning Pain Into Power, How To Stop Taking Things So Personally | Yemi Penn
What happens to us when we experience trauma? What impact does trauma have on our bodies, brains, hearts, relationships and lives? And what does it take to truly heal physical and emotional trauma — especially when we’ve been carrying our wounds for a long time, maybe even genera ... Show More
1 h
Feb 2024
Sarah's Greatness: 'How do I rebuild my life after heartbreak'
<p>Do you feel lost after going through a divorce, separation or heartbreak?</p> <p>In this episode, Sarah Grynberg offers guidance to individuals seeking to rebuild their lives after heartbreak, providing effective strategies to heal and move forward.</p> <p>Gain valuable insigh ... Show More
6m 4s
Jun 2024
S’aimer au-delà de ses blessures avec la psychiatre Catherine Bensaïd
<p>Guila Clara Kessous reçoit dans Métamorphose Catherine Bensaïd, psychiatre, psychanalyste et auteure. Comment se détacher des blessures qui marquent nos vies ? Est-il possible de se libérer de ces moments qui nous rongent, parfois pendant des années ? Le rejet, l'abandon, l'hu ... Show More
45 m
Aug 2020
#104: Rahaf Kobeissi On Healing After Suicide Loss & Becoming A Mental Health Coach
<p>Trigger warning: this episode includes conversations about suicide.<br /> <br /> This week's episode is by far the most emotional podcast I have recorded. It was my pleasure to invite Rahaf Kobeissi into the studio to share her heartbreaking story. From living through the pain ... Show More
49m 48s
Jan 2024
220: Taking Your Healing and Your Relationships to the Next Level
<p>Join us for today's podcast episode where Brandy takes us through the often unspoken aspects of relationships and their impact on our physical and emotional well-being. Relationships can be a "sore subject" in ways that may not be immediately apparent. When people think of hea ... Show More
1 h
Mar 2024
To Forgive or Forget the Narcissist
Healthy//Toxic Healthy versus Toxic is a podcast where licensed mental health professionals explore what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy. Our hosts aim to provide a scientifically informed perspective on what factors go into making healthy relationships, how to build se ... Show More
15m 47s